Handbook for Ricers (Warning: Adult Content for Language) - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


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Old 04-01-2004, 05:50 PM   #1
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Default Handbook for Ricers (Warning: Adult Content for Language)

Matt (Firedevil) and I had a laugh in at this brilliant work

Caution...language... :P


1. Place bouncing cartoon characters on dashboard
2. Have awkward sex with your intensely uncommunicative girlfriend
3. Not look for a job
4. Listen to REAL hip hop
5. Not joke around with anybody
6. Prove yourself to the world that said you couldn't be anything
7. Add another obnoxious spoiler
8. Think about other ways to trick it out real nice-like
9. Install/activate blinking lights
10. Smoke weed!
11. Vacuum
12. Have awkward sex with your girlfriend'* intensely uncommunicative friends
13. Put stupid **** in your hair to make it spikey
14. Think of ways to steal money from hard working parents/grandparents to Trick it out some more
15. Drive drunk-like
16. Drive all cool and fast
17. Make jokes at other peoples' expense
18. Add another gauge
19. Armor-all!
20. Smoke Marlboro reds while imagining hood-sized Honda decal
21. Glamour plate - FAKIRA
22. Adjust upside-down visor to a 45 degree angle from ear
23. Beat off in opulant luxury
24. Crap self, and when friends say "What the **** is that stank n' ****!!!" say something like "Damn dawg! We must be by the sewer or some ****, damn!" and hope stench miraculously goes away
25. Look at self in the mirror and think 'I look ridiculous'
26. Analyze designer flip flops over designer tube socks; Decide they look sweet
27. Wish you were black
28. Armor-All "ultra"!
29. Imagine that in the year 2037 the '92 Honda Civic will replace the '64 Impala as the gangsta car of choice, and that neighborhood kids will flock to your house in hopes you might take them for a ride in your original "nine-two"
30. Get EXTREMELY pissed when girlfriend puts greasyJack in the Box laden hands on dashboard
31. Not talk to her for a week after she then proceeds to put them on your Diesel jeans
32. **** self
33. Study for the GMAT
34. M&M'* & Eminem!
35. Deodorize
36. Lower rims, brain cell count
37. Read magazine filled with like cars, Hot ****
38. Make gear shifting and motor sounds with mouth
39. **** self, fast and furiously
40. Waste life
41. Use parking tickets to wipe recently crapped ***
42. Cuss.
43. Drive home... to your parents house... where you live... still.
44. "Get tricky wid it!
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Old 04-01-2004, 05:54 PM   #2
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some very classic stuff in there jim.. lol good for a healthy chuckle
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Old 04-02-2004, 12:48 AM   #3
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lol i showed this to my friend he was really mad and said it wasnt true but when i think about it it totally is
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Old 04-02-2004, 01:00 AM   #4
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It surely is true..right from the Ricers Handbook
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Old 04-02-2004, 08:44 AM   #5
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so i must have a high brain cell count cuz i got bigg rims?

good one jim
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Old 04-02-2004, 10:10 AM   #6
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29 > all :
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Old 04-03-2004, 12:49 PM   #7
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Hey that was funny, EXCEPT, THE PUT **** IN YOUR HAIR TO MAKE IT SPIKEY!....Not funny, no, no, no, not funny!
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Old 04-03-2004, 12:58 PM   #8
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lol...you need to have ALL of the requirements to qualify :P
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Old 04-03-2004, 01:01 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim W
lol...you need to have ALL of the requirements to qualify :P
Oh! Then I guess that'* ok.....
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