TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:
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From: Robbinsdale, MN
TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID'*, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can I eat the cats' food before they eat it?
Can I roll on dead fish, seagulls, crabs, etc., because I like the way they smell?
Can I use the sofa as a 'face towel'.. and Mom and Dad'* laps.
Dear God: Help me remember the things that make me a "good" dog - such as:
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
3. I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
4. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
5. Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
6. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
10. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Thank you,
the Dog
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID'*, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can I eat the cats' food before they eat it?
Can I roll on dead fish, seagulls, crabs, etc., because I like the way they smell?
Can I use the sofa as a 'face towel'.. and Mom and Dad'* laps.
Dear God: Help me remember the things that make me a "good" dog - such as:
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
3. I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
4. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
5. Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
6. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
10. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Thank you,
the Dog
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From: Grand Rapids, MI
Re: TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Dear God: Help me remember the things that make me a "good" dog - such as:
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
3. I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
4. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
5. Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
6. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
10. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Thank you,
the Dog
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Joined: Jul 2003
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From: Robbinsdale, MN
Re: TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:
Originally Posted by Melissa
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Dear God: Help me remember the things that make me a "good" dog - such as:
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
3. I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
4. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
5. Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
6. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
10. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Thank you,
the Dog
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Posts like a Northstar
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 744
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From: Grand Rapids, MI
Re: TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Originally Posted by Melissa
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Dear God: Help me remember the things that make me a "good" dog - such as:
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
3. I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
4. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
5. Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
6. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
10. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Thank you,
the Dog
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From: Grand Rapids, MI
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Are you sure you want to get him going?
Women
Women
I'm not tyring to be mean here so you guys know :P
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From: Grand Rapids, MI
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
He'll probably "show" you instead of telling you.
John..seems to me she'* screaming for "attention"
John..seems to me she'* screaming for "attention"
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
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From: Enfield, CT
Originally Posted by Melissa
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
He'll probably "show" you instead of telling you.
John..seems to me she'* screaming for "attention"
John..seems to me she'* screaming for "attention"
John...Insert "attention" here...lol
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From: Robbinsdale, MN
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by Melissa
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
He'll probably "show" you instead of telling you.
John..seems to me she'* screaming for "attention"
John..seems to me she'* screaming for "attention"
John...Insert "attention" here...lol
remember, this was Bill'* idea.....