Jim:
If you need the foam ear piece send me a PM with the make and model of the headset. I can probably find one for you.

LOL!

Well, we bought another headset, but thank you for the offer

This is just begging for an anti-man rant in so many ways....

Ouch...yeah I did that to a guy once. I seriously thought he knew...
No kidding.... :P

I have got a wonderful woman that i am totally committed to.
Always figured if something was worth doing it was worth doing right
You ever see those dead possum lying in the road? They were partially committed

Rule #1 if she aint happy you aint happy and if she aint happy long enough your gonna be unhappy with half your stuff

Early on in our marriage when wed be in the same room for a half hour and she didnt say a word a word to me i would make the mistake of looking at her a saying whats wrong? Hoping it was something other than me.

Now i have learned If were in the same room for a half hour and she doesnt say a word to me, ITS ME. Now i just go up to her and say "Baby i realize i have done or said something stupid and insensitive and while i dont yet know what it is i would like to go up to my room and think about it for a little while."

I learned early on in our relationship that women are complicated creatures
Once i had accepted that it made alot of things easier for me
But i have found that because women are complicated they like to think men are complicated too.
You ever hear a group of women talking to each other "OOO i wish i knew what
he was really thinking" Ladies ill tell you what were really thinking
Were really thinking "I'd like a beer and i'd like to see something naked"
Thats all were thinking You go to a nursing home and see a 90 year old man going down the hall on a walker Thats what hes thinking "I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked"

And i do belive what women understand men better than men understand women
Think about that. How often do you see a man stomp out of a room crying and have a woman go "What, What'd I say? Come Back"

And i do think men would take advice on relationships but were not gonna sit down and read magazines about it. You got to feed it to us in a way were we'd accept it. Sneak it into the play-by-play of a baseball game:
"...and theres strike fhree. Greg Maddux is looking really good today. Speaking of looking good fellas, from time to time your woman needs to be reminded that she'* still looking good to you"

Hey Baby have i told you lately you are as pretty as Greg Maddux?

Baby where ya goin?

Now baby what i meant to say is when your naked you are prettier than Greg Maddux

You really are

Im going up to my room

That...was classic

too good!

I know this has been said before, but it needs resaid:

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it'* up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It'* like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That'* what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts f! or 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria'* Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have ! no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing'* wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


but did you know men really don't mind that? It'* like camping.

Way to go MOS! That was priceless!!!

All this is too funny..