The other day I was doing some grocery shopping and picked up a case of bottled water. A woman who evidently works for a competing bottled water company noticed my choice and insisted on knowing why I wasn’t picking her lower priced water instead. The clear inference was that I’m not too bright. Water is water, she noted.

The first defense that came to mind went unsaid, but it would have gone something like this “If I’m dumb enough to buy water, I’m certainly dumb enough to pay too much for it!”

But that didn’t feel right. My second impulse was to say something along the lines of “Do you know who I am??? I buy overpriced water because I CAN. And by the way, this is just the water for my cat.”

That didn’t feel right either.

My third option was just as wrong, and it would have gone like this “Well, since you asked, I assign an economic value to the use of my mind for price shopping versus the alternative use of imagining you naked right now.”

Too risky.

After I left, I thought I should have said something like “As any bottled water professional should know, research has shown that the color of a container influences the perceived taste. Your company’* bottles send the subliminal suggestion of day old puddle water with a hint of excrement.”

But I didn’t say any of those clever things. Instead, I mumbled something about being in a hurry and shuffled away.

I still drink overpriced water, but I no longer enjoy it.

John John John...

I like Dasani water and don't care what anyone thinks about that. I enjoy it, I pay for it, and that is all that matters.

tap water for me!

My tap water has too much flouride in it and causes kidney stones. Don't want none of those!!

Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.