English Revisited - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-20-2006, 12:56 AM   #1
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 6,313
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
PontiacDad is on a distinguished road
Default English Revisited

English Revisited


The bandage was wound around the wound

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let'* face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg
in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while
sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English
for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a
guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of
tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run
and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at
the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn
up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling
it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course,
is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out,
they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.
PontiacDad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 01:03 AM   #2
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,837
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
sqela is on a distinguished road
Default

stop making my head hurt
sqela is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 01:31 AM   #3
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Peterg22000 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sqela
stop making my head hurt
x2
Peterg22000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 01:29 PM   #4
Senior Member
Certified GM nut
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Sycamore, IL
Posts: 2,361
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
BonnieBrougham is on a distinguished road
Default

My Brain --> <-- This Thread
BonnieBrougham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 01:48 PM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Custom88 is on a distinguished road
Default

not only is the English language screwed up, but the English system of measurement is too!
12 inches= one foot..
three feet=1 yard
5280 feet=1 mile..
all uneven numbers.. that doesn't make sense.

Metric
10 centimeters=1 decimeter
1000 centimeters=1 meter
1000 meters=1 kilometer..
hmm powers of ten.. now THAT DOES make sense.
Custom88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 01:58 PM   #6
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road
Default

Made for interesting reading. Things that make you go hmmm.
SSE14U24ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 02:01 PM   #7
Senior Member
Expert Gearhead
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 20,892
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Jim W is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Custom88

Metric
10 centimeters=1 decimeter
1000 centimeters=1 meter
1000 meters=1 kilometer..
hmm powers of ten.. now THAT DOES make sense.
Infidel!

HA! It is a simple system...I prefer it, to bad at work we're doing a building in NYC with Imperial measuring. North of the border here we have to learn both systems to keep up.

And English is probably the one of the hardest language to learn. Damn Anglo-Saxons, throw some German and French in there and ta da...English.

Example

Mansion = Maison (French)
House = Haus (German)
Jim W is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
English? Check out this ebay auction tripscarcare95 General GM Chat 2 06-05-2005 02:19 PM
the most versitle english word 18++++++++ 1993 SLE Lounge 7 04-18-2005 06:09 AM
Why people should learn English... TrueWildMan Lounge 8 02-19-2004 09:33 AM
Ever Wonder About Our English Language? BadTA00 Lounge 0 12-24-2003 01:49 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:38 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.