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Old 11-26-2004, 03:12 PM   #1
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Default The Differences

NICKNAMES:
If Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20, even though it'* only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want changeback. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman'* bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.

NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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Old 11-26-2004, 03:17 PM   #2
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haha... DEAD ON


especially the arguments one



don't tell my wife i said that
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Old 11-26-2004, 07:57 PM   #3
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Quote:
CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
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Old 11-26-2004, 08:43 PM   #4
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Yeah, that sounds about right. LMAO!!
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