Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog - Bites
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor'* dog
FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile. There better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... Also 1 gay bull for sale
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby
GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened - used once
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: > > > Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica: 45 volumes. > > > Excellent condition $1,000 or best offer. > > > No longer needed. Got married last month. > > > Wife knows everything. > >