so im typing on here.

nancy told me monday shes thinking about leaving me. weve been together since about september of 03, been living together since december of 03. i proposed on april 5, 2006. she said yes and weve been planning a wedding to take place on october 25th, 2009.

before we met, she didnt think she was capable of love. she says she loves me, but shes bored. im trying to fix the problems she says are in our relationship [we went bowling yesterday, and ive been suggesting various activities for us to do together in the future]. i just dont get it. she loves the way we interact.

shes been such a fixture in my life for so long . . . i can imagine life without her in it, but i dont want to live it. itd just be empty.

to her face, im confident that shes just getting cold feet because of the wedding. for her, the idea of me being the last person shell ever "be" with is a scary proposition. itd be like telling her she can only eat one type of food for the rest of her life. to her face, im sure that she will resolve this issue, decide she still wants to be with me, and well come through this stronger for it -- because she will have dealt with this issue. and im hopeful thats what will happen.

but i dont think it will. i think shes leaning toward leaving me. and that scares me.

any given conversation i have with her right now is just wierd. i asked her what we should do tuesday [we had some time], and she wanted to go look at wedding bands and price them. but today she wasnt even sure if she wanted me to be around in 2 years. almost all of our conversations over the last two days have revolved around her leaving me. i think she wants to, shes just scared of the unknown.


im thinking about packing a week'* worth of clothes and leaving her to sort her thoughts out for a week or two. i dont want to lose her.

:( that'* a tough situation dude. i can't really offer you any advice, but you two will be in my prayers.

sounds like cold feet to me but i could be WRONG.

maybe you should tell her you want to take her out to eat somewhere and have a talk about the situation on her wanting to leave you..or if money is an issue then make her a nice romantic dinner but not to romantic. then talk about anything but your problem during dinner. then when the food is done start out by saying something like

" so babe i really want to discuss something that is bothering me, is that o.k with you.?"

and when she says yes, then you say something like

"well i see how much you been talking about wanting to seperate"
i really am getting confused by all this and i need to know if you really want to seperate from eachother for a while and think things thru or if you leaving me is something you been thinking about for a while now and you made up your mind, if so i would like for you to tell me as its affecting my life not knowing what you want and if its me you want.

or maybe you can say oit better then me.. ,,

DISCLAIMER: if you use my words im not responsible for any actions that may take place.

thanks for everyone whos contributed.

when she gets home im think im going to suggest i pack my stuff and disappear for awhile. . .


shes on a diet. its a strict diet. so we cant go on an eating date. and we went bowling last night at my suggestion. us splitting up didnt come up once. we talked about splitting up again today, and it sounded like she was leaning away from me.

if you dont mind me asking

how old ae the 2 of you.?

were both 24

speaking from pesonal experience i think she just need'* some time to come around and get used to the whole marrige thing.. its new to her to be locked down to 1 person for the rest of your life.. people need to adjust to new things. some adjust harder then others.. i will be 27 in march 4th and my wife is only 23. so when i proposed to her it was fine but when i put the ring on her finger and we started talikng about a wedding date she acted the exact same as your fiance is doing.. i went back and lived with my mom for 2 week'* and only called her every other night to ask her if she was o.k and to tell her i love her and good night..

went back 2 weeks later and it was a lil funny at first meaning things just felt weard but here we are 5 1//2 yrs and 2 beautifyl kids later still very happy and loving like young teenagers..

so i say go with your plan and leave her some time to sort things thru and get her mind back on track and adjust a lil to the new wonderful life that awaits her.


(( " if you love something then let it go,
if it come'* back to you,
then it was meant to be"))

thats one of the truest quote'* i have ever heard.... and i tell it to everyone...

wish you all the best man.... and show her all the good she got to look foward to with out just saying it.. maybe that will help her relax.. make her feel as comfortable as possible..

I'm so sorry. "Sometimes a little time away makes the heart grow fonder." We seperated and it lasted 3 weeks. Then started dating again. We are on 17 years now!

It looks like you've gotten the best advice from those who've "...been there, done that". I hope things work out for you like it has for the others.

So, you guys were both 19 or 20 when you got together...keep in mind that there is still a lot of "finding oneself"...in fact, it'* a continuous progress...even at 40 I learn new things about myself and those I love. It almost sounds, though, as if there are confidence issues for her...she may feel that she'* not able to be the person she thinks she should be if she stays....give her some space...and use that time to find yourself too... I wish you both the best.