change is constant - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-07-2008, 08:01 PM   #1
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
jwakamud is on a distinguished road
Default change is constant

so im typing on here.

nancy told me monday shes thinking about leaving me. weve been together since about september of 03, been living together since december of 03. i proposed on april 5, 2006. she said yes and weve been planning a wedding to take place on october 25th, 2009.

before we met, she didnt think she was capable of love. she says she loves me, but shes bored. im trying to fix the problems she says are in our relationship [we went bowling yesterday, and ive been suggesting various activities for us to do together in the future]. i just dont get it. she loves the way we interact.

shes been such a fixture in my life for so long . . . i can imagine life without her in it, but i dont want to live it. itd just be empty.

to her face, im confident that shes just getting cold feet because of the wedding. for her, the idea of me being the last person shell ever "be" with is a scary proposition. itd be like telling her she can only eat one type of food for the rest of her life. to her face, im sure that she will resolve this issue, decide she still wants to be with me, and well come through this stronger for it -- because she will have dealt with this issue. and im hopeful thats what will happen.

but i dont think it will. i think shes leaning toward leaving me. and that scares me.

any given conversation i have with her right now is just wierd. i asked her what we should do tuesday [we had some time], and she wanted to go look at wedding bands and price them. but today she wasnt even sure if she wanted me to be around in 2 years. almost all of our conversations over the last two days have revolved around her leaving me. i think she wants to, shes just scared of the unknown.


im thinking about packing a week'* worth of clothes and leaving her to sort her thoughts out for a week or two. i dont want to lose her.
jwakamud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 08:42 PM   #2
Senior Member
Posts like a Camaro
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 1,172
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Bonnevillan is on a distinguished road
Default

:( that'* a tough situation dude. i can't really offer you any advice, but you two will be in my prayers.
Bonnevillan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 08:44 PM   #3
Darrel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I"m sorry to hear that man. I'm getting married in August this year and it is putting a strain on our relationship. giving her some space might not be a bad thing. i don't know what kind of person she is or what the two of you do in your free time but maybe you need to go out on a "date" again. Sara and i don't get out much, so we're trying to make an effort to go out and do something fun together. whatever you do, i wish the two of you the best.
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 08:53 PM   #4
Senior Member
Certified GM nut
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: allentown, pa--brooklyn, ny
Posts: 1,646
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
88bonnsse is on a distinguished road
Default

sounds like cold feet to me but i could be WRONG.

maybe you should tell her you want to take her out to eat somewhere and have a talk about the situation on her wanting to leave you..or if money is an issue then make her a nice romantic dinner but not to romantic. then talk about anything but your problem during dinner. then when the food is done start out by saying something like

" so babe i really want to discuss something that is bothering me, is that o.k with you.?"

and when she says yes, then you say something like

"well i see how much you been talking about wanting to seperate"
i really am getting confused by all this and i need to know if you really want to seperate from eachother for a while and think things thru or if you leaving me is something you been thinking about for a while now and you made up your mind, if so i would like for you to tell me as its affecting my life not knowing what you want and if its me you want.

or maybe you can say oit better then me.. ,,

DISCLAIMER: if you use my words im not responsible for any actions that may take place.
88bonnsse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 09:06 PM   #5
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
jwakamud is on a distinguished road
Default

thanks for everyone whos contributed.

when she gets home im think im going to suggest i pack my stuff and disappear for awhile. . .


shes on a diet. its a strict diet. so we cant go on an eating date. and we went bowling last night at my suggestion. us splitting up didnt come up once. we talked about splitting up again today, and it sounded like she was leaning away from me.
jwakamud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 09:13 PM   #6
Senior Member
Certified GM nut
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: allentown, pa--brooklyn, ny
Posts: 1,646
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
88bonnsse is on a distinguished road
Default

if you dont mind me asking

how old ae the 2 of you.?
88bonnsse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 09:15 PM   #7
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
jwakamud is on a distinguished road
Default

were both 24
jwakamud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 09:57 PM   #8
Senior Member
Certified GM nut
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: allentown, pa--brooklyn, ny
Posts: 1,646
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
88bonnsse is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jwakamud
were both 24
speaking from pesonal experience i think she just need'* some time to come around and get used to the whole marrige thing.. its new to her to be locked down to 1 person for the rest of your life.. people need to adjust to new things. some adjust harder then others.. i will be 27 in march 4th and my wife is only 23. so when i proposed to her it was fine but when i put the ring on her finger and we started talikng about a wedding date she acted the exact same as your fiance is doing.. i went back and lived with my mom for 2 week'* and only called her every other night to ask her if she was o.k and to tell her i love her and good night..

went back 2 weeks later and it was a lil funny at first meaning things just felt weard but here we are 5 1//2 yrs and 2 beautifyl kids later still very happy and loving like young teenagers..

so i say go with your plan and leave her some time to sort things thru and get her mind back on track and adjust a lil to the new wonderful life that awaits her.


(( " if you love something then let it go,
if it come'* back to you,
then it was meant to be"))

thats one of the truest quote'* i have ever heard.... and i tell it to everyone...

wish you all the best man.... and show her all the good she got to look foward to with out just saying it.. maybe that will help her relax.. make her feel as comfortable as possible..
88bonnsse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 10:31 PM   #9
Senior Member
Posts like a Supercharger
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Buffalo,Florida,Tennessee
Posts: 199
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
97BonneSSEi40th is on a distinguished road
Default

I'm so sorry. "Sometimes a little time away makes the heart grow fonder." We seperated and it lasted 3 weeks. Then started dating again. We are on 17 years now!
97BonneSSEi40th is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2008, 11:50 PM   #10
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: North of Buffalo, NY *** NEBF '05, '06, '07 *** ***ONBF & NYBF 06; 07*** ***WCBF 06***
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
singscountry1967 is on a distinguished road
Default

It looks like you've gotten the best advice from those who've "...been there, done that". I hope things work out for you like it has for the others.

So, you guys were both 19 or 20 when you got together...keep in mind that there is still a lot of "finding oneself"...in fact, it'* a continuous progress...even at 40 I learn new things about myself and those I love. It almost sounds, though, as if there are confidence issues for her...she may feel that she'* not able to be the person she thinks she should be if she stays....give her some space...and use that time to find yourself too... I wish you both the best.
singscountry1967 is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
brake light and a constant chime ZCRX87 1992-1999 5 11-07-2005 10:34 PM
Need a 12v Constant (Please Not Behind the Radio) swerve Everything Electrical & Electronic 2 06-30-2005 06:26 PM
Idle not constant driverjohn2005 1992-1999 5 12-11-2004 04:50 PM
What to do about extreme constant anxiety? Custom88 Lounge 11 10-19-2004 02:02 PM
Constant -7psi boost and some clicking.... DrJay 1992-1999 5 02-19-2003 11:25 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:35 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.