The Cars of OS - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-16-2009, 01:56 PM   #1
Senior Administrator


Certified Car Nut
Thread Starter
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Horseheads, NY
Posts: 15,641
Thanked 995 Times in 772 Posts
Mike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond repute
Default The Cars of OS

MS-DOS - You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys.

Windows - You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.

System 7 - You get in the car to go to the store, and the car drives you to church.

UNIX - You get in the car and type "grep store". After reaching speeds of 100 miles per hour, you arrive at the barber shop.

Windows NT - You get in the car and write a letter that says, "Go to the store". Then you get out and mail the letter to your dashboard.

Taligent/Pink - You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in his lear jet.

OS/2 - After fueling up with 6,000 gallons of gas, you get in the car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everyone in town.

MVS/VM - You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there you run out of gas. While walking the rest of the way, you are run over by kids on mopeds.

OS/400 - An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you to the store where you watch everybody else buy filet mignons.

NetWare SFT III 3.11 - You put a foot into each car and drive to the store. Halfway there, the two-lane highway divides, ripping you in half. Each car then proceeds to the store without you.
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2009, 02:39 PM   #2
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
sawgunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Dover, NH
Posts: 7,122
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
sawgunner is on a distinguished road
Default

hahahahahahaha
sawgunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2009, 02:46 PM   #3
Administratus Emeritus
Certified Car Nut
 
GXP Venom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Purgatory, Pennsylvania
Posts: 16,538
Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts
GXP Venom is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike1995 View Post
OS/2 - After fueling up with 6,000 gallons of gas, you get in the car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everyone in town.
Not only funny but I can relate!
GXP Venom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 12:45 AM   #4
Senior Member
Certified GM nut
 
SignOfZeta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: New Milford, CT
Posts: 2,284
Thanked 16 Times in 13 Posts
SignOfZeta has a spectacular aura aboutSignOfZeta has a spectacular aura about
Default

That'* almost as old as the Internet, but still just as hilarious. Let me amend:

Windows Vista - One of the flashiest cars in the lot. Comes in a multitude of trims that you can't really tell apart. You can freely drive it for about three miles before the engine shuts down until you supply a valid title and license. Then, it drives rather slowly (except on Microsoft roads) and tries to convert your music to formats that only work on the car stereo. A few cars also randomly explode for no reason, though Microsoft denies this while showing the brochure for the newest model.

Windows 7. Looks and feels just like the Vista car. In fact, the word "Vista" is faintly visible in the paint on the trunk lid below the Windows 7 emblem. It still demands your title and license before it will operate as well. True to the marketing, it runs much faster than the Vista car.

Mac - Once you peel off all of the self-stick plastic wrap, an opening appears on the body. You get in, the belts fasten, the snow leopard-print seats adjust to fit you, and the engine starts by itself. It then figures out what music you like based on your brainwave patterns, begins playing it, and suggests more that you can buy instantly without taking your eyes off the road. However, instead of a steering wheel, gauges, and pedals, there'* only a picture of the road that you can touch with your hands and feet to move the car, find nearby attractions, Google Maps directions, and a square that you can touch to download new apps for the dashboard. Also, the hood is welded shut, but everyone you know says that it won't be a problem, as there are no fluids to change and no tune-ups to perform. The car can even rotate your tires for you while you sleep… although you're not sure how it manages to do that.

Linux - The car is freely available to anyone who wants it. When you order it from the dealership, they look at you funny. Within 20 minutes, several different couriers bring the individual parts to your doorstep, with a 300-page factory service manual detailing how to build the car. After spending several weeks with the manual and a couple of neckbearded acquaintenances who have built their own Linux cars, it gets you to any destination at 100 miles per hour, runs on water, and is quite awesome. However, changing the spark plugs, for some reason, requires you to remove the dash, seats, muffler, left fog light, and repaint a door.
SignOfZeta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 07:36 AM   #5
Senior Administrator


Certified Car Nut
Thread Starter
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Horseheads, NY
Posts: 15,641
Thanked 995 Times in 772 Posts
Mike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond reputeMike has a reputation beyond repute
Default

^^^^ Nailed it right on the head.
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Older Cars Styling vs. Newer Cars marquette97 General GM Chat 27 01-07-2012 07:13 AM
Guy Cars vs. Gal's Cars SpinEm_90 Lounge 34 07-14-2010 09:08 PM
trading cars for cars pontiacGXP General GM Chat 20 02-10-2006 11:36 AM
What do you do in your spare time?..besides cars and work.. BonneAlien Lounge 21 11-06-2002 09:27 PM
Not all small cars do poorly in crashes Azwed Lounge 26 11-05-2002 04:35 PM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:36 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.