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Old 01-05-2006, 03:49 PM   #1
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Default can it get any better?????

well as some of you know the end of 2005 was not to good for me. as for i had to lay my father to rest like 4 days before xmas. then as soon as i get back home wanting to go on with my life with out any droma. hahahaha ya right. so for the few weeks the wife and i have been fighting and fighting. all she ever wants to do is lay in bed or go to her frinds house. and her freind is freaking anoying. well on new yrs eve we where suposta go out to a freinds house to drink a few and try to relaxe. but she didnt wanta go. so i went. when i get home right around 1130 just to check on her talk what ever. well she is gone. back over to monicas house agian. so i left. well we both got home about the same time and we stayed up fighting for about 4 hrs. we both said a few choise words to each other, but it was all outa anger. well she remembers every thing i said to her but i cant remeber a thing she said to me (drank to much). so she keeps brining it up, over and over and over agian. well we decided we need some time apart. so i said ill leave in a few days. well today is the 5th i got ahold of my mom to ask if i can stay here for a week or so and she is all cool about it. but i have all of my college stuff set up for the campus by my house (2 hrs away from here) classes start in 2 weeks. im stressed out hard core. i dont know i just needed to vent for a few. thanks



if anyone has any ideas please help
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Old 01-05-2006, 04:13 PM   #2
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Actually, it really can get better. Really sorry to hear about your Dad and your troubles.

If you both want it to get better, it really will, but it will take some compromise and a bit of time to let the wounds, from the angry things said, heal. Which is why it'* best to avoid saying the mean things in anger (I didn't say it was easy or necessarily always possible, just best).

Know that there are rough spots in all marriages, you are not alone, though it will sometimes feel like that.

As a woman, your wife takes all the angry things you may have said personally, wheras men often just blow that stuff off. Therefore we often don't realize how much it means to them. Maybe, if you can convince her that those things were not meant as personal attacks, things will blow over quicker, rather than later.

IMHO, the sooner you address the source of the problem (without pushing too hard for quick resolution BTW), the quicker the healing can start.

Good luck to you both...
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Old 01-05-2006, 04:15 PM   #3
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Sorry about your dad, that must have made christmas pretty hateful.
I had the same problem with my girlfriend. All she ever did was sit around the house and bitch constantly about everything, never me though. She never bitched about me, but I hated how all she did was sit around and complain, but I never said anything about it. Then one night I got really drunk with my friends, ended up getting escorted out of Applebees by the cops, and of course they wouldn't let us drive off, so we had to call her. She started bitching at me, because she was missing a TV show or something. Evidently I told her exactly what I thought about her, she was so upset she called out of work the next day. I didn't even remember fighting with her. Well we ended up breaking up, but she wanted me back after like 3 days.
So all in all, she no longer bitches about stuff, she quit the job that created so much stress, and I support her. I got my way, still go out with my friends, and come home to a pleasent girlfriend. It worked out great, but it took some tough times to get to this point. So chin up man, it can only get better.
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Old 01-08-2006, 04:15 AM   #4
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ya well the wife and i are gettin divorced. she is the one that wants it so she can freakin pay for it!!!!! i told her that and she agree, but i want an anulment we have only been married for 6 months. life is so grand aint it??? BS

ps i think im goin crazy......... losin my mind over here.... lil help
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Old 01-08-2006, 01:57 PM   #5
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Im sorry to hear about the divorce.
you know we are here to chat anytime.
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Old 01-08-2006, 07:28 PM   #6
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Sucks man. A divorce sounds like it should help, dont have to worry about her anymore. Just focus on your school and job, best way to go right now.
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Old 01-08-2006, 08:09 PM   #7
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Yeah... focus on other things in your life and try not to let this slip into them. If you need to get away, you're welcome to drive out to rochester, ny. I know I've never met you, but the offer is still open. Nothing like a u-pull-it junkyard to clear your mind for a few hours.

Talk with the admissions with school and see what they can do for you. Explain to them what is going on and what you'd like to do. they should be able to assist you in some way or another.
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Old 01-09-2006, 11:10 AM   #8
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Geoff, I'm going to RIT this fall so I need to find you so you can show me where this famous junkyard is okay

Fuel
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