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Old 04-15-2010, 10:26 AM   #1
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Default autism awareness month

A few of you may already know that I have a autistic son, and I've been struggling with the school system and how they deal with him. Once again, this is the 3rd time now, my son is in the hospital because of there handling of him. They claim they are doing it for his safety, they claim they know what they are doing, they claim they are doing everything they can. But yet he ends up in the hospital because he tries to kill himself. The kid is 10 years old. We have meeting after meeting, and nothing changes. They hide behind the paper saying we followed the plan. The police are called and he'* restrained. Teachers hold him down so hard he says he can't breath. Now we have to go to court because he struck a police officer.

My wife has found a lot of information, such as most states have laws in place so schools can not do CPI holds. Kids have made the same complaints as our son about not being able to breath, and some of them are now dead. Killed by teachers and staff holding them in CPI holds.

If you have or know someone with a autistic child, learn the laws, learn your rights. The schools must provide a education, and then can not say we can't teach them, keep them at home. They can not just lock them up in a room. they can not punish them and you because of the disability they have. They are not the way they are because of bad parenting. Please, don't judge parents on the actions of these kids. I have people look at me like I'm a bad parent, I've had off handed comments said to me, if you knew what you were doing he wouldn't act like that. Oh, I could whip him in to shape in no time. Think about what you are saying, don't roll your eyes. I deal with this 24/7, and it'* not by choice.

Our local school system blames us, they claim to care. Care about what, teaching our son, or protecting them self? We do everything we can, my wife can't take a job because someone needs to be ready to run to the school and pick him up. I'm not saying you have to change anything, or even care. But try to understand when you see a child act up in public, it'* not always the parents fault. April is autism awareness month.
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:41 AM   #2
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I have people look at me like I'm a bad parent, I've had off handed comments said to me, if you knew what you were doing he wouldn't act like that. Oh, I could whip him in to shape in no time. Think about what you are saying, don't roll your eyes. I deal with this 24/7, and it'* not by choice.
I completely agree with you on this. I have a 4yr old that was a 23 week preemie. My son, Tyler is Deaf, has CP and needs to wear braces on his legs to walk. He needs to wear glass to keep his balalnce and to focus on things. He goes to a special school here in NY that is just for deaf children. I am actually headed to the local school district that is demanding he starts to be mainstreamed. I have to laugh, We drive him to and from his deaf school because transportation is not in the budget. We pay for his lunches, field trips, accessories for the special school and all his durable medical equipment. There main concern in the cost.....that is why they are trying to mainstream him. Um hello......it comes out of OUR pockets....not theirs.

This is a struggle EVERYDAY! People do not understand what it is like to have a have a child that has some problems. It is still a child.....were blessed. Unfortunately we make have to adapt to their surroundings to make it better for them.....well hell I would love people to adapt to our children.

I once had a woman stop me at a store and say "slap that kid again and I'm calling the police." I had to laugh at her ignorance. I was signing to him. We have to sign very clost to his face because he has bad vision. I gave her a little piece of my mind and her husband said don't talk to my wife like that. I told him she needed to mind her own business. I told her to walk a day in my shoes and I bet she couldn't last 4 hours.

I love my son, have experienced many of things with him so far. He is only 4. The best is yet to come!
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:48 AM   #3
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As a friend, and grateful co-Admins of a Forum we both love and built Dan, my heart really grieves for you and your family. Autism has become a monstrous disease that for unknown reasons is escalating out of control, and before it not only can be controlled, but not even understood. Nor the mechanism that triggers it known. Public awareness, and laws to protect these children and their families while this disease is better understood and real treatment becomes available, needs to be enacted. And as statistics show its ever increasing growth, monies and studies need to be implemented. Hoping the best for your Bud and know we all here are on your side.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:01 AM   #4
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That is an eye opener Dan. Best of luck to you and your family.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:04 AM   #5
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I think what upsets me the most is the school claiming they know what they are doing, when clearly they don't. Guessing is not knowing.

Scott, check your local laws. The school system has to reimburse us for mileage driving our son to school, I think it'* 35 cents a mile and that'* both ways. Also check in to medicaid, we got that for our son and it covers everything my insurance doesn't. All his meds, all his therapy. In home therapy, miles we drive to take him to the dr. and even our meals when he'* far from home like right now. It'* 115 miles for use right now. My wife found a lot of programs to help out. Before that we had between $700 and $1000 a month flying out the door, and that'* not including her being unable to have a job.

John: If people understood, it would be much easier. If he was in a wheel chair, people would be understanding. But he looks normal, he acts normal, but has a problem inside his head. So people treat him normal and then think he'* just a brat that needs to be put in his place when he acts up. That'* not the case. He'* Bipolar, there is no outward sign of that.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:09 AM   #6
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Dan:
This may help or not. At least it will give you something to investigate.

My company deals with mental health issues and as such has contracts all across the country with private companies and local municipalities.

In Arizona Maricopa County, Phoenix, we have a clinic that handles violent patients that are on drugs or maybe a mental issue. Each person in the clinic is required to take, every 6 months, a refresher class in passive restraint.

For those that do not know passive restraint is the art of restraining a person so that person is not hurt or handled violently.

You might want to look to see if that is a requirement in your school system or county.

It sounds like your son had been clinically diagnosed with the illness and the Police do not understand what that means with his behavior. I would think that once the police find out he is clinically diagnosed the charges would be dropped.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:10 AM   #7
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I think what upsets me the most is the school claiming they know what they are doing, when clearly they don't. Guessing is not knowing.
Schools never think they're wrong. If something isn't right they blame the parent instead of looking at what they're doing. Sorry to hear about the treament of your son Dan, it truly is sad how some stuff is handled nowadays.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:15 AM   #8
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God Dan, I am so sorry to hear this. It is complete BS what schools do to kids cause they (schools) don't understand what the real issue is. My thoughts and heart goes out to you and your family especially your son who has been through hell cause the school doesn't have a clue. Ya'll will get through this and all will be better once the rest of the world smartens up. I feel for ya'll, take care and protect what is yours.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:25 AM   #9
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The BIG problem with Schools is they are run by local Boards of lay people that bring their own in as the need arises. You have to right to vote, but only for the candidates provided. These people haven't a clue of how to properly deal with these types of things. And keep their heads in the sand and refuse change or taking responsibility of being wrong. They are at the top of the game and have no real Supervision or Accountability other than a very slow Court System, which refuses to intervene on a National level and actually cause change. Unfortunately the problem is created by being free and not Socialistic. Nobody is going to accept a Nationalized School program. With School Boards run by Professionals. So change is up to Public Awareness and Society embracing that the system needs help.

And you are so right about what the general public percieves most of these kids to be. I myself have been in line at a store and seen kids who act differently than norm and thought, "Brat that needs to be disciplined". So many times in this age, I'm sure some are children who can't understand where and why their head is where it is, and Parents whose worlds are coming apart as they try to cope with it.
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Old 04-15-2010, 11:32 AM   #10
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Last year we went on a family vacation to Wisconsin Dells. We went to a huge water park for 3 days. On the last day Tristan had enough, and he was melting down. I was trying to get him out of there but there was so many people around making noise it was to much for him and he started to loose it. A woman came up to me and made a snide comment that if I knew what I was doing he wouldn't act like that. I had had enough at that point and said to her, Teriets as a wonderful thing. He was going off at the mouth at this point. The look on her face was priceless, she went from smug to stupid in .2 seconds.
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