A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?".
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger
on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful,
and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since
she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man'* warning,
he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer,
and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet
so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest
with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture #1: Large rock on chest.".

"Well, that'* pretty crappy," he thought. "If that'* the best the old man can do then I
don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window
and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read,
"Chinese Torture #2: Rock tied to left ********.". In a panic he glanced down
and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few
broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture #3: Right ******** tied to bedpost....".

Now that'* a good joke!!!!