Ancient Chinest Torture.......(slightly 18 +) - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat

Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-10-2005, 10:34 AM   #1
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Thread Starter
dbeast420's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My reclining computer chair
Posts: 11,269
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
dbeast420 is on a distinguished road
Default Ancient Chinest Torture.......(slightly 18 +)

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?".
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger
on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful,
and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since
she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man'* warning,
he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer,
and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet
so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest
with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture #1: Large rock on chest.".

"Well, that'* pretty crappy," he thought. "If that'* the best the old man can do then I
don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window
and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read,
"Chinese Torture #2: Rock tied to left ********.". In a panic he glanced down
and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few
broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture #3: Right ******** tied to bedpost....".
dbeast420 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2005, 12:52 PM   #2
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road

Now that'* a good joke!!!!
SSE14U24ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2005, 12:57 PM   #3
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Quincy, Ma
Posts: 15,341
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Gumball is on a distinguished road

Gumball is offline   Reply With Quote

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
how to torture your kids with out leaving a single mark. 88bonnsse Lounge 14 02-26-2008 06:44 PM
Back at it again. The ancient art of...... willwren Lounge 14 11-21-2004 01:06 PM
8 hours of pure torture h1081dan General GM Chat 12 08-11-2004 11:40 AM
Spark Plugs for the slightly modified and the Wet Nitrous salmanman Performance, Brainstorming & Tuning 2 04-07-2003 12:37 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:35 AM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.