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Old 12-18-2005, 02:52 AM   #1
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Default almost 2 am :(

almost 2 am here, i start a new job on monday that is running a 5am shift and i cant get to sleep, someone shoot me please
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Old 12-18-2005, 02:54 AM   #2
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Name:  nerf.jpg
Views: 1
Size:  32.2 KB
(that'* a nerf gun in my hands)
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Old 12-18-2005, 02:57 AM   #3
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Read some web stuff about Dr Phil'* thoughts, that will put you to sleep.
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Old 12-18-2005, 02:58 AM   #4
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this just in


THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
telling me it'* not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a
suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it

between my breasts. "How long will this
take?" I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts
every day will make my breasts larger over the years?

" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He'* still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk
again.

Stupid, Stupid, Man.
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Old 12-18-2005, 03:02 AM   #5
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Ok Randel, you might like this -

50 year old woman was jumping on the bed all happy.
Husband is like - "what is your deal? "
She said the Doctor told her she had the breats of a 21 year old woman.

The guy said - "hmmm, did he say anything of the 50 year old ***?"
She says - "No dear, you were never mentioned".

har har har..
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Old 12-18-2005, 03:03 AM   #6
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Husband jumps in bed and tosses a bottle of Aspirin at the wife.

Wife: "what'* this for? I don't have a headache."


Hubby: GOOD!
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Old 12-18-2005, 03:10 AM   #7
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Watch some TV. A nice boring show will put ya to sleep.

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Old 12-18-2005, 03:10 AM   #8
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Default How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

This could be on ANY forum of the web...
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it'* "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL'* where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL'* were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL'*

3 to post about links they found from the URL'* that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 to hijack the thread and ask how to change the horn

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
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Old 12-18-2005, 07:19 AM   #9
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I got the same problem as you. Drink some nyquil, a couple beers and eat a sandwhich, then go watch some boring tv for a few minutes. That does the trick usually. Also, reading and working out our other ways I like to get tired.
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Old 12-18-2005, 12:53 PM   #10
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well if it was me and i was up like that i would just stay up and then go to bed at my normal time the next day to try to get myself back on schedule again no harm in doing a over niter sat/sun
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