I flew home for the weekend yesterday, and while I was there (wait, it'* only Friday...) anyways, while I was there, I was asked to help out around the office by my father (owns his own business)... well after doing some odds and ins and the books (ugh!), I was allowed to do something fun.

"Go to the back, and get the 2001 Chevy 3500-series van, and take it to Jim Reed CHevrolet so that they can fix the dashboard and instuments..." (they would work intermitently... safe for a new 7500lb commericial van, eh?)

So I'm off to go to Jim Reed Chevrolet, and I stop at Krystal to get something to eat. Well there'* this ricer outside in this newer Civic - last gen 1996-2000 - and he'* smirking at my pulling in, driving the "Big Van with the Dogs on the Side" <-- Invisible Fencing... so I go in, get my food, and leave, only to hear this idiot peel out of the parking lot in the ususal "sreaming FWD manner" - one wheel spinning, because his busted up ride didn't have a real LSD, and the WAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRR of his nasty Nakayama muffler...

So I think to myself that it'd be funny if he got himself into a race that he thought he'd win, so I pull ou quickly and follow him... a little while on, before my last turn, I finally manage to get up next to him, and while shoving a Krystal Chic in my mouth, I lean out the window and say "Hey boy, ya'll wanna run this thing fer fun, er whut? I betch I can whoop *** on that wannabe Civic Racercar... make yer play sucka" So he immediately laughs and revs his motor, playing... but he knows I'm serious when I start to rev mine, and it makes the whole van rock from side to side...

A second later, the light turns green and he takes off... I have no TCS, a rather large V8, and a great LSD, so I slam it to the floor, forcing my body back in the seat and, to my disadvantage, my Large Krystal Go-Cup from the tight grip of the cupholder and out onto the floor... catastrophy...!

We're gaining speed, and I begin to ease up on his bumper, then right near his driver'* side door... and... oh wow... my front bumper surpasses his, and I overtake him... I slam the "awesome column shifter" to 2, then to 3, and I've already pulled a carlength on him... we come to the next stoplight, and he won't even look at me... he pretends to be fiddling with his autometer tach... and all the while I'm laughing and jumping around in the van... finally he looks over, and all that he sees is me acting silly, honking the horn intermittently, and singing "YOU got beat BY A work... VAN... YOU got beat BY A work... VAN!"

After that, he had this mortified look on his face... either fear or complete humiliation... but either way I don't care - at 4:48pm, on a rather cool Thursday in Jan... a mildly tuned Chevrolet workvan with a busted up dash wasted a "Fully tuned street Civic... with full bolt ons and all that"....

I have to do it again... "YOU got beat by a work... VAN!"

OWN3D!


(not mine but still pretty good kill)