I live in a small hick town in northern Illinois, but its not far from civilization. However I still want to share this information with everyone just to find out if the rest of the nation is similar.

In my area there are many ricers, but even more so domestic closet ricers. Meaning...domestic cars driven by kids with riced mind sets. Heres some examples of the "wonderfully" modified vehicals in my area. So sit back, relax, prepare to laugh, and enjoy the list of....."HICKTOWN RICE" (patent pending)

1.) '99 Dodge Neon, Silver: This little bugger has a nifty little silver metallic paint job, a nifty paintjob that extends more than it should. What do I mean? BIG ground effects! I'm talking a spoiler/wing that is in the shape of a cresent moon which extents 50 feet into the air. This also includes skirts than scrape the road, igniting oil spills, as it passes by...and a front bumper ground effect that looks like something from an old western cow catcher from a locomotive. Yes it is also equiped with those stylin' white aluminum spoked rims. Fart can was extra!

2.) '00 Hyundai Elantra, Green: Lights lights and MORE friggin lights! Glowing pedals, short shifter, fart can exhaust, neon inside, neon underbody kit, neon LED'* that replace the license plate bolts, neon this and that.... Once you get past the neon it has, get this, a HEADER! No not headers, header (non-plural) plus a "high" performance throttle body, some ricey decals, big ol' 'H' on the hood, and the list extends far too long. This is even better, NO RIMS! Stock "rims" with those cheap chrome hubbies! And stock tires. Last but not least, the entire interior of the car has been painted green, no part was left naked.

3.) '00 Ford Fukas (Focus), Black: Large system, no cat, header (again, non-plural), fart can, yatta yatta yatta. But the best part....painted on metallic flames.

4.) '92? Grand Am, Red: Say it ain't so, but yes someone did deficate this poor Pontiac. Cheap chrome (plastic) hub caps, INSANLY annoying fart can exhaust, dirty as all hell, and revs it so much when I drive by that it sounds like hes about to blow a rod....or a nut, whichever.

5.) (Unknown Year) VW Golf, Black (spraypaint): This is about as sad as they come. Whole paint job is a spray painted black and red stripe theme. Two square holes cut into the hood except for one side, whos side was bent upward to create the most retarded ram air scoops ever known to man. I don't know much more about it because when I see it I start laughing so hard that I end up being pulled over by a cop from driving irratically.

6.) '94 Hyundai Tiberon, Red: I've raced this ricer, and won. It puts shame to the color red. The inside has ben painted red/black/silver. This includes the dash, doors, center console, blah blah blah. Fart can.....and.......oh, homemade PVC intake.

7.) Early 90'* Ford Escort, Purple: Rims, lowered, fart can, tint, and more. I cry when I see it. End of story.

8.) '93 Geo Storm: Chrome Rims, fart can, header, bad clutch....this poor loser races anything he sees, and his maintenance bill shows it.

I hope this has provided some great laughs and shall go down into the books of rice history. So pull open those garage doors boys, and show these suckaz some American POWA!!!

You have a lot of time..

I work as a computer technician, I have TOO much time.

Ohhhhh man ! Leave the imports alone ! Can't we just let them be?

Give me a while to decide.....

No

Ummm leave them alone????? what a pick on domestic`*..........ummmmmmmm no way ricers first..them german-auto`* and the odd ricer wannabe domestics......all fair game only when they start it first

Theres only 2 Jap cars in that list of 8 ? others are domestic, what does it take to label a "ricer" thought they had to be Jap imports ? :?

Actually there are 2 Korean cars and one German car.

Oh and the list includes closet ricers, these are people who "rice" out their domestics.

All I can do, is Vomit with Rage! lol

People like that ruin it all..

<- Self explanitory



what was that pontiac owner thinking?