If you have to wait, do everything in your power to flush the oil out of the block. Go look at the rebuild thread in Performance and Brainstorming to see what kinda crud is building up in there while you wait.

I had a lower end of a 3400 go on me before. If only I knew then what I know now about intake Failures.

As far as doing it yourself, as long as you have the tools, anything is possible. I never thought that I would be pulling my upper and lower off of my 94, but I did thanks mostly to Billboost!!! But I looked at how it came apart, and what needed to be removed to get at the part I wanted to remove.

Keep things organized and in the order you remove them and then reverse once everything has been replaced. Once you do this with a little bit of guidance from the Club, you will gain the confidence to be more mechanically inclined to work on your car.

Trust me, I Have experienced it with the guidance and help of Billboost

Maybe I missed something but did you not say the car won't start ?

Bad gaskets and swappings fluids aside this (to the best of my knowledge) will not make your car not start. Running it is a bad thing at point as you apparently know you are swapping fluids, but if they car don't run there may be more wrong then you think. I could be waaaay off the mark.

If you have a shop you use you might just price a replacement engine. 600 bucks is alot and I know I could get a used 3800 installed for that or not much more.

What is your Zip and I will run the mapquest to it to find out how far away you are.

The zip code is 16502.
And I think the not starting is due to lack of compression. It wants to start, but it just won't.

If I end up picking up the suburban from near there, and my buddy doesn't mind helping/hanging out for a while, I could swing over and help. Never done one before, but am fairly mechanically inclined. I'll let you know when I am back from alaska.

Coolant leaks in the upper intake manifold and from failed LIM gaskets will result in coolant in the combustion chamber(*). That can foul plugs preventing start, and, if enough coolant is present, can result in hydrostatic lock.
Many failed UIM/LIM problems have been successfully repaired for $200 without pulling the engine.

windshield_time, you may be right that if the only symptom is no-start, that may be caused by many other things. And there may be other things wrong, of course.

Hopefully, any competent mechanic, or those going to help will make the appropriate checks to determine whether the problem is an internal coolant leak or something else.

Tallbump, if you have a friend that can pull your spark plugs and examine them for evidence of coolant, that would be a pretty good confirmation of an internal coolant leak. Also, a loss of coolant as shown by low levels in the recovery tank and/or radiator, with no evidence of external leaks would be another indication. If you know nothing at all about cars, it would be worth it to pay a good mechanic $50 to confirm what is or is not wrong. Could save you a lot of money. That'* what I do when I am stumped. And, anyone can use the Techinfo article linked above to check the date on their UIM. This will also give a good idea of whether that failure is a good or remote possibility.

Well, I have definite coolant leak. And it is external. You can see the puddle under the front end. But there is also a nice cloud of white smoke pooring out the exhaust as well.
I would love to take it to my trusted mechanic, but he is pretty far away and it ain't gonna be a cheap tow

If the white smoke out the back smells like coolant, that would indicate an internal leak. White smoke out the tailpipe usually is coolant or water vapor that is getting heated and pumped through the combustion chambers. Can you tell which side of the engine is leaking the coolant externally?

Oddly enough, it looks like it is coming out of both the driver'* and passenger'* side toward the front of the engine. But it could just be coming out of one and running the other way. Can't get it started to see where it seems like it is actually coming out.
But you can see coolant on teh motor on both sides. And the puddle is kind of under the middle.
I called one of my trusted garages and he was familiar with the UIM proble and quoted about $400. Now to call a tow company. Wish me luck.

and BTW
The weather is getting pretty crappy and I have on garage to work in, so it'* probably best to just take it to the mechanic. But, I sincerely appreciate the offer.
But if you are gonna be near hear and want to stop by your more than welcome.

Luck to you, Bump. Keep us updated.