133,000 miles , just got it dirt cheap , body is a taillight away from being perfect!
The engine will crank over , but wont start. I've got spark and fuel pressure , the idiot lights come on with the ignition turned to on as usual. It sounds like the timing chain may be stretched or maybe even broke? it sounds like an old chevy v8 with the distributor in wrong while trying to start it! Could it still send spark if the crank or cam position sensors are bad? The computer should be good if the idiot lights come on when you turn the key on , Right? Also , how common is the intake problem? I know buying a car without hearing it run Is pretty silly but , the car looks so awesome , and I'm up to challenges on newer cars. I've also got an 85 Monte Super Sport that I am restoring ,I'm just not totally accustomed to the newer vehicles yet. Thanks!

Well if it wants to start, then check for codes & see if the Crank Sensor or Cam Sensor is at fault here. BTW! Welcome to our little Bonneville Home-Away-From-Home!

Could It really be that simple? Now OBD-1 codes can be pulled by jumping the test terminals , Is OBD-2 the same or should I invest in scantool? I have the chilton but haven't checked it for code pulling yet.

I'm afraid "flash" codes were disabled after 1993 on the Bonneville line! A Scan Tool WILL BE REQUIRED!

you have spark and fuel.
check compression
check cam/crank signal
check that the ignition wires are going to the correct cylinder

Thanks for the input! Sorry again about the double post! It acts like it wants to start but , nothing. The guy at the car lot told me the timing chain was out but cant go by what they say. I will definitely pull the codes before I tear the timing cover off!!!

Good plan...nothing like doing a little investigation BEFORE spending more money!
Check for any obvious things out of place too, like wires disconnected to sensors (Crank & Cam) & plug wires routed wrong (as already mentioned above). Sometimes you might just get lucky twice! I've seen it done before...used car salesman is no mechanic...therefore if the crank sensor is unplugged, it'll not start! I've seen potential buyers do things like this too to drive the price of the vehicle down to rock bottom claiming there is something wrong with the car! Not saying that you've done this, but, someone else may have before you!

I work at jiffy lube here in Kansas City , And I see a lot of series 2 3800'* with the I guess MAP sensor plugged into the pcv valve cover. Mine just has a plain plastic cover with no place for a plugin and no spring under the cover? Is the MAP sensor located in different spots for different vin numbers? Mines "K". Also where do I get A better than stock upper intake? I've read some of the posts about the upper intake and want to replace mine Immedeatly after getting it to run. I checked all the fluids and the overflow is empty and the radiator is low on coolant but was no sign of moisture in the oil. I really appreciate all your Help so far!!!!

Not sure about the MAF Sensor near the PCV though...will have to look at my Series II.
I can help you with an alternate solution for the 3800 SII Upper Intake though>>>> http://www.bonnevilleattitude.com/st...bcefa0ac6821c8

The upper intake solution looks like an excellent idea! I've read people replacing the upper intake twice! That seems to cure the problem instead of replacing it with the same one!! I've found the taillight at a local salvage yard , any Idea where to find the trunk latch assembly that bolts in the trunk? I haven't found it yet. Do you have any opinons on scantool brands?