Okay, I relatively mechanically inclined and I've done some searching here for this topic. I fully understand the coolant in the oil scenario. Bad news. But how would oil only get in the coolant but not vice versa? I just changed the oil and it was legit. However coolant was low and when I removed the cap.. presto...oil sludge.

Is this head gasket? Oil cooler? What... Thanks for helping out a first time poster.

I'm gonna go with head gasket. That'* the more common reason that you end up with oil in your coolant. Don't think I've ever seen the oil cooler go.

Get oil in coolant because oil pressure is higher than coolant. May get a little the other way when shut down but metal expansion when hot may seal the seep until coolant pressure goes away. I agree, head gasket is most common. Might get away with retorquing the heads. (60 lb-ft) - a long shot but easy.

examine the oil if its red its from the trans cooler in the Rad. If its honey color its motor oil. If your trans fluid is dirty its hard to tell if the cooler is leaking.
Mine actually went so I bypassed it to the external trans cooler.
Kept putting trans oil in the overflow.

When I got the new engine, I got a junkyard engine, and I changed the coolant 3 times to get rid of this stuff. I found a possible leak where the water from the timing cover goes into the engine, but cannot confirm it was the source. The engine seems to run fine, so head gaskets don't seem a problem. Possibly it was just leftover crap from the old car, or if it was sitting and accumalated crap.

make sure your PCV valve is breathing right and when you change your oil heat it up good and hot.