I plan to start tearing it apart in the next few days, but before I do so, I just thought of something...
A few weeks before all of this started happening, my friend "topped off all my fluids", and I didn't think anything of it. Could overfilling the tranny fluid cause this? I just checked the level, and it'* over the "max" line. It'* doubtful, but I'm just wondering..if it'* this simple, I'm going to scream.