1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"Sorry we don't serve food in here."
6. A dyslexic man walks into a rab.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says,
"It'* Not Unusual."
10. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says
to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It'* true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
12. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
13. I went to the butcher'* the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."
14. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
16. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
17. A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor
Vehicles to apply for a driver'* license. He has to take an Eye Test.
The optician shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O * T A C
Z'. "Can you read this?", the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy!"
Dark Teal Metallic (CAI, 180* T-Stat, Dual Climate Control, Tinted Windows, Silver Grill Inserts, Headlight Blackouts)
Also have: 1992 SSEi(CAI, Xenon Glow Headlights, Cyberwhite Navigator Fogs)
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Stop starin at my thingy!