This sounds like my ex-wife so far.....I need a wider screen to figure out the rest. Can't see right side of page.

My ex was a BITCH for totally different reasons. And she wasn't a little selfish...she was VERY selfish. I won't go into it tho.

Scroll over, or change the res of your monitor

Its fine now. I couldn't do it earlier.

Jim, is this you on the far left with the sandals on?

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car'* bonnet.
male: The strap fastener on a woman'* bra.
LESBIAN (lez-bi-an) n.
female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch.
GLASS CEILING (glas see-ling) n.
female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one'* self emotionally to another.
male: Playing cricket without a box.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one'* partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the lads.
BUM (bum) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look Bigger".
male: The organ for mooning (and farting).
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one'* girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Sex.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: What women do while the man is ********.

WOMEN'* ENGLISH
************************************************** ****

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = you'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = you need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It'* your decision = the correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
onTV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not
going to like


MEN'* ENGLISH
************************************************** ****

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let'* have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What'* wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex

with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you
within the next 3 mins

14. Let'* talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deepperson and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

No..thats my buddy Jon

The feller on the right..thats me, and middle is Drifter and LEFT is Smellbird


Edited for Drifter....

I wish I didn't read the female engish, me and my wife would still be together if I would have understood that.

[quote="89BonnieSE89The feller on the right..thats me, and middle is Drifter and right is Smellbird
[/quote]

what are you ?? Master of disguise.. you're you and Smellbird?