to racing if.....


You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.

You take your helmet along when you go to a car dealership for a test-drive.

Every time you go to the grocery store you feel compelled to beat your previous best time.

When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

When you hear 'overcooked it,' instead of food you think 'off the track.'

You change engine oil every other week. You check tire pressures every other day.

You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.

You once had an argument with your wife over whether you should pay the mortgage on time or get those new heads while they were on sale.

You push you cart through a proper line in the grocery store.

You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.

You bought a tow vehicle instead of braces for your kid.

You and your wife go house hunting and you never actually get inside the house because you're checking out the garage for 220v.

You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.

Your wife doesn't understand why you need three sets of tires for your car.

Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.

You have car parts in your cubicle at work.

You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Gentlemen, start your engines!"

You're registered for wedding gifts with Edelbrock and Griggs.

Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1s and aluminum rack bushings and your 'significant other' knows what these are.

Your home library consists of auto parts catalogs, books written by F1 drivers, anything about Carroll Shelby, and 400 car magazines.

People know you by your car number or your "offs" -- "Oh, you were the one stuck in the mud in Turn 5 last weekend!"

Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.

Your friends have never seen your hair actually combed. They only know it'* color as "greasy."

Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.

You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.

A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Corn."
You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."

You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.

You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.

You can't stand understeer.

You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.

You hate long distance driving vacations, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.

You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.

You save broken car parts as " mementos".

You've tried synthetic oil and racing gas in your lawn mower.

You've tweaked your riding lawn mower trying to improve its cornering ability.

Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.

You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.

You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots using the Emergency Brake to turn.

You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.

When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber".

You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer.

You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.

You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute.

You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview mirror afterwards.

After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why, is there a race there?"

man, i keep failing these stupid tests

also