It's funny joke Tuesday!
02-13-2007, 02:17 PM
#1
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It'* funny joke Tuesday!
An Irish woman of advancing years visited her
physician to solicit his help
in reviving her husband'* flagging libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an
aspirin!"
"Not to fret,"replied the doctor. "Give him an
Irish Viagra."
"What'* an Irish Viagra, Doctor?"
"That'* where you just drop the Viagra into his
morning coffee. He won't even taste it," replied the
doctor. "Give it a try and call me in a week
to let me know how things went."
Not even a week had gone by before she called the
doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress of
the experiment.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and
begorrah! T'was horrid, just too terrible, doc!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised. I slipped the Viagra
into his morning coffee and it took effect almost
immediately. He jumped hisself straight up, with a
twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging
proudly! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the
cups and tablecloth a flying, ripped me clothes to
tatters and took me then and there, making wild,
mad, passionate love to me right on the tabletop!
T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean to
say the sex your husband gave you wasn't any good?"
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!
T'was the best sex I've had in twenty-five years!
But sure as I'm sittin' here before you, I'll never
be able to show me face in Starbucks again!
physician to solicit his help
in reviving her husband'* flagging libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an
aspirin!"
"Not to fret,"replied the doctor. "Give him an
Irish Viagra."
"What'* an Irish Viagra, Doctor?"
"That'* where you just drop the Viagra into his
morning coffee. He won't even taste it," replied the
doctor. "Give it a try and call me in a week
to let me know how things went."
Not even a week had gone by before she called the
doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress of
the experiment.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and
begorrah! T'was horrid, just too terrible, doc!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised. I slipped the Viagra
into his morning coffee and it took effect almost
immediately. He jumped hisself straight up, with a
twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging
proudly! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the
cups and tablecloth a flying, ripped me clothes to
tatters and took me then and there, making wild,
mad, passionate love to me right on the tabletop!
T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean to
say the sex your husband gave you wasn't any good?"
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!
T'was the best sex I've had in twenty-five years!
But sure as I'm sittin' here before you, I'll never
be able to show me face in Starbucks again!
Theres a place and time for everything. Starbucks...isn't the place.
02-13-2007, 08:43 PM
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A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it'* because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it'* because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" and she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"No, Honey, it'* because you're 25."
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it'* because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it'* because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" and she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"No, Honey, it'* because you're 25."
02-20-2007, 10:38 AM
#7
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Black Panties
Mary lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into the dating world.
Finally, Mary says she'll go out, but doesn't know anyone she can date, since the man she loved and married was her childhood sweetheart, and now he'* gone....
Her daughter immediately replies, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it'* an immediate hit. They really like one another and after dating for six weeks, he
asks her to join him for a weekend at the lake.
Their first night there, she undresses as does he. There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, while he'* in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black
panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore but down there I am still in mourning."
The following night, the same scenario. She'* standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit, except that he has a black condom over his erection. She looks at him and asks, "What'* with the black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences..
Mary lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into the dating world.
Finally, Mary says she'll go out, but doesn't know anyone she can date, since the man she loved and married was her childhood sweetheart, and now he'* gone....
Her daughter immediately replies, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it'* an immediate hit. They really like one another and after dating for six weeks, he
asks her to join him for a weekend at the lake.
Their first night there, she undresses as does he. There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, while he'* in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black
panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore but down there I am still in mourning."
The following night, the same scenario. She'* standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit, except that he has a black condom over his erection. She looks at him and asks, "What'* with the black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences..
!!!
