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Some advice for our Northern Members
Just in case y'all decide to vaction in the south this winter...
How to Avoid Getting Your Butt Kicked in The South 1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your butt. 2) Don't laugh at our Southern names. (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, etc.) These people have all been known to kick butt. 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, or whatever - it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to a butt kicking. 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your butt. 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We can still kick your butt. 6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your butt. 7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up, spend your money, and get the hell out of here - or we'll kick your butt. 8 ) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're from Ohio. Eat your biscuits like God intended. Don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your butt. 9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your butt kicked. 10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't give a damn. Many of us have visited hell holes like Detroit, Chicago, L.A., and D.C., and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Take your butt home before it gets kicked. 11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away, or we'll kick your butt. 12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes have caught fire like scenic Lake Erie once did. Whine about OUR scenic beauty, and we'll kick your butt all the way back into Boston Harbor. 13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say "sir" and "ma'am," hold doors open for others, and offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your butt just like they did ours. 14) So you think we're quaint or we're losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or L.A. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your butt. 15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here trying to tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your butt shot off (right after it gets kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Question our sacred BBQ, and you go home in a pine box - minus your butt. Y'all have a nice day! |
I swear I love the south :D
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I lived a 1/3 of my life in the south. I can attest to all the above, well except the BBQ part....see REAL BBW is made with .... ah nevermind...;)
-- Rogue |
Americans are weird :lol:
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lol MOS....thats great...we need one for mn bout everyone else!
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no fair im not from the north or the south. im the mutt of the US a little bit a this little bit a that.it sucks
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You may know your history... but you dont give a rats ass about anyone elses...
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Most Americans don't need to. And in all fairness, doesn't matter.
Flame warrning number 1 :evil: |
Originally Posted by 1992 trofeo
You may know your history... but you dont give a rats ass about anyone elses...
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wha, NO SUGAR IN GRITS! :bluetwitch: :duh: :sucks: I couldn't imagine mine without it!you people are savages :lol:
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Originally Posted by mista_sse
wha, NO SUGAR IN GRITS! :bluetwitch: :duh: :sucks: I couldn't imagine mine without it!you people are savages :lol:
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3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, or whatever - it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to a butt kicking. |
"I'll have a coke"
"What Kind? We got Pepsi, Diet Pepsi. or Root Beer" "I guess a Pepsi" |
jeeze settle down...its all fun and games...its just somthing to laugha bout...it hgouth it was damn funny...i still gott amake one up...ill get gordy and jason to help me for a north one...lol...jim too!!!! remember its just to get a laugh...and im guessing he got a few...
i want a coke mt dew...hehe! :D |
I grew up in FL, from age 4-12 or so...
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Originally Posted by BonneMeMN
I grew up in FL, from age 4-12 or so...
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Yeah, no gun rack in our cars... Too bad i'm not a Tex wanna be...
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if that was made in the south then i have a feeling (sorta living there myself) that the whole sheet wasnt composed of "butt"-kicking...but nice job in family friendly-ing it 8)
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Rule #1
Rule #1: WE DON'T CARE HOW YOU DID IT UP NORTH!!
For Gods sake, don't say "Up North we (have, don't have, do, don't do, never, always, did it like this, never did, etc.....)- or anything that projects an air of superiority. You may not get your butt kicked, but at the least, you will be encouraged to go back, or asked "If it's so great up North, why are you here??" Down here we do things our own way, and most often for good reasons. One realizes this after having the privilege of living in the South for a few years. I was raised in South Florida, where the Yankees vastly outnumber Southerners and both groups are outnumbered by Hispanics, and was raised by a father from Illinois and a Southern belle from Virginia. I'm a prime example of a "half breed" when it comes to heritage. Yet, Mom's people can be traced back to the Lee's of Virginia. Yeah, 'ol Robert E Himself. Plus, I have lived in the very deep south (Georgia) for almost 30 years, so I have multiple perspectives. Therefore, please take this advice on rule #1 to heart! Oh, by the way, sugar on grits is OK, but I don't eat them that way. Just add lots of butter, salt, pepper, more pepper, and some cheese if you are in the mood.... Yum, yum! An edit: Not to raise a controversy or flame war, but the BBQ up North does not deserve the name. Been there, done that. I have sampled literally hundreds of BBQ joints North and South, and you folks North of Tennessee and West of the Mississippi river need to just give up. Not to brag, but this is from a person who has a personal motto of: "Have grill, will thrill." Bye, y'all! |
I'm still trying to find the Rules for Living in the South. One of the rules is "Don't throw out the Bacon Grase. You'll be told what to do with it later". Every woman I knoew growing up in Texas had the Mason Jar of bacon grease on the stove. The only time I saw it used was every once in a while my dad would melt some down for frying eggs or popping popcorn. MMMMMMMM, mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
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ejecto...can you settle down a little bit before you post...holy crap...
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OK gents.
Lets not start another civil war here. I doubt anger is the issue here, just perspectives. Lets keep the eggs sunny side up and I'll have my grits sugared (wtf are grits anyway :wink: ) Oh and don't mess with CDN's, last time we invaded we burnt down your White House :lol: :lol: Oh brotherly love |
OUCH!!!!!!....yea you got our white house...but if it wasnt for an american you wouldnt be on the computer right now would ya? LOL!!!!!
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Umm, didn't Canadians first invent the first intranet
*pullin at strings here..sorry* |
yea but bill gates grew up in Seatle..washington...USA!!!! :usa: and created Microsoft! are you using windows? ...lol...
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Originally Posted by 89BonnieSE89
Umm, didn't Canadians first invent the first intranet
*pullin at strings here..sorry* |
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Originally Posted by 89BonnieSE89
Umm, didn't Canadians first invent the first intranet
*pullin at strings here..sorry* |
Okay, you made me do it (watch out, this is some boring stuff!). Found this at http://www.isoc.org/internet/history/cerf.shtml
In 1973, the U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) initiated a research program to investigate techniques and technologies for interlinking packet networks of various kinds. The objective was to develop communication protocols which would allow networked computers to communicate transparently across multiple, linked packet networks. This was called the Internetting project and the system of networks which emerged from the research was known as the "Internet." The system of protocols which was developed over the course of this research effort became known as the TCP/IP Protocol Suite, after the two initial protocols developed: Transmission Control Protocol (TCP) and Internet Protocol (IP). ...in 1965 working with Thomas Merrill, Roberts connected the TX-2 computer in Mass. to the Q-32 in California with a low speed dial-up telephone line creating the first (however small) wide-area computer network ever built. Due to Kleinrock's early development of packet switching theory and his focus on analysis, design and measurement, his Network Measurement Center at UCLA was selected to be the first node on the ARPANET. All this came together in September 1969 when BBN installed the first IMP at UCLA and the first host computer was connected. Doug Engelbart's project on "Augmentation of Human Intellect" (which included NLS, an early hypertext system) at Stanford Research Institute (SRI) provided a second node. SRI supported the Network Information Center, led by Elizabeth (Jake) Feinler and including functions such as maintaining tables of host name to address mapping as well as a directory of the RFC's. One month later, when SRI was connected to the ARPANET, the first host-to-host message was sent from Kleinrock's laboratory to SRI. Two more nodes were added at UC Santa Barbara and University of Utah. These last two nodes incorporated application visualization projects, with Glen Culler and Burton Fried at UCSB investigating methods for display of mathematical functions using storage displays to deal with the problem of refresh over the net, and Robert Taylor and Ivan Sutherland at Utah investigating methods of 3-D representations over the net. Thus, by the end of 1969, four host computers were connected together into the initial ARPANET, and the budding Internet was off the ground. Even at this early stage, it should be noted that the networking research incorporated both work on the underlying network and work on how to utilize the network. This tradition continues to this day. It was also in 1972 that the initial "hot" application, electronic mail, was introduced. In March Ray Tomlinson at BBN wrote the basic email message send and read software, motivated by the need of the ARPANET developers for an easy coordination mechanism. In July, Roberts expanded its utility by writing the first email utility program to list, selectively read, file, forward, and respond to messages. From there email took off as the largest network application for over a decade. This was a harbinger of the kind of activity we see on the World Wide Web today, namely, the enormous growth of all kinds of "people-to-people" traffic. |
I thought Al Gore "Invented" the internet....
That was a joke ppl, just like him ;) -- rogue |
The Internet is the exchange of information...........Libraries hold the title of first to do this. The first fax machines were used in libraries in the 50's. The french had online banking in the 60's...............and without Marconi (an Italian) and his efforts to communicate across the Atlantic from Canada there would be no telephone which was invented by Alexander Bell, a Canadian.
And for the record Bill Gates invented nothing.........he bought and re sold a disk operating system and made millions.............business man not inventor.....I read his book. |
yes but it would not be as big as it is if it wasnt for the US military playing aroudn with it....
if you look to the left of this post....his VP invented internet...lol...jk al gore created ntohing |
Forget the internet, the most influential man of the last 1000 years.
Johann Guttenburg inventor of the printing press, without him...forget the share of information :wink: |
my, my, my. what happened to this thread here? you all ok now?
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I'm confused :?
:lol: |
:alcoholic:
I blame it on beer :wink: |
been drinking that 211, huh? gets ya everytime :lol:
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