She broke up with me
 

Well, Allison has decided to call it quits with me. Suck big balls. She's having a lot of issues and can't see that I am trying to help her with them. She's moving to columbus with another guy to get away from it and try to solve her problems. We'll see, but from what it appears, she won't be stopping by here anymore and I won't be speaking to her again after tonight.

I'm doing ok. Working on the car to get it back together and going to use the insurance money to finally finish it. Then I'm going to get my life in order and figure out what I am going to do now. I have my job in rochester and will be here for another year or so, and then who knows. If anyone knows of entry level, 1-3 years experience, jobs for software engineers, let me know. Right now I have no qualms about packing up and moving, especially if it is near BC members. Thanks for being my second family

Always here for you, G. I'll tip a couple back just for you tonight.

That sucks for ya man. I'll look around down here for ya, we'd love to have ya.

Geoff. Send Resume. aaron at atcx dot [com] Tell me what you're looking for. I normally don't like mixing friendship and business, but what the hell. Maybe there's a fit for you.

Sorry to hear that. You sure haven't had a whole lot of luck, lately.

Always tough when relationships go south. :(

I'll tip a few for you here too.

That really sucks.
If looking for something in the sunny South,try Blackbaud

It'll get ya out of the freezer 8)

Again, I'm sorry to hear things went bad. As cliche as it is, it's true, everything happens for a reason. Chin up kiddo!

Geoff hop in teh car and drive this way.. We have a meet going on in a few hours..you can still make it. ;)

sorry to hear that Geoff,

yeah, it's tough, but today I just had that I'm going to be fine epiphony. I made myself a list of things I need to get accomplished, set up a small workout program for me, and tonight I am going to finalize dates for completion.

i bought new computer parts with some of the accident money since my systems were getting older and my server is dead. (anyone got a AMD 1.3 Duron compatible Mobo for near free i could grab?)

She is coming over tonight. i wrote her a letter and stated that I can't jsut go and be friends cause I care for her too much. She either promises me to stay true to me while she is gone (she left for financial issues, school, and to clear her head) or we no longer speak and she becomes part of my past. I know that is very black or white, but that is what I need. And I know she could do it, but I don't think she wants to. i think she is moving there for the guy more than anything, so who knows. I will update everyone on how things go tonight when she comes over to talk about the letter. She'll either be leaving here with my love, or leaving here completely erased from my life. We'll see.

Love Bites. Which is why I have my Bonne. I can turn wrenches on her, push her buttons, and all sorts of other stuff. You will find, that over time, singularity has it bright points. You have already made that list of yours. I did the same thing several years ago. Now I am done with school and working with a great company (though they seem to think Orlando isn't a very expensive place to live or work). Anyways, take a look at CAE (my employer)...they got jobs everywhere in and out of the states, and a major player in the simulations field. 8)

I feel ya! I think I'm just gonna stick with my beautiful Bonny!

Sorry to hear man. At least you don't gotta with the dsm hype now... :)

Oh come on now. I mean as much as relationships bite occasionally, they do make life worth living (or at least really interesting).

:werd:

You'll be alright buddy, feel free to stop over into my office, we have a barrel fun of new young ladies that have just been hired...no foolin.

Good luck to ya and good to hear you aint wallowin in sorrow.

Wait 2-3 weeks and I'll hook you up. I may have one right now, but I think I swapped it into a friend's system. I'll look.

You'll do fine man. Good luck.

Oh my...at first I thought Sully was talking about a chic...then I realized it was computer stuff.

Sorry to hear you're going through that crap right now, Geoff.... stay close to your friends and stay busy... we're here for ya!

oh baby i'd wanna be your car ;)

But:

Dude.. sorry

don't sweat it too much, there's alot of girls. If you're half as decent as I get the impression you are, then you should have no problems finding the right one. I wish you luck. If she doesn't put any effort into this for you, she obviously was not worth your time.

Just chill a bit man. Everyone is right, though.. being single has it's good .. but then it's bad.

I am the type who nobody really takes a second look at, because either a. i'm ugly, or b. i have shit for confidence.

just ease it out man dont worry about it. you'll find a different girl hopefuly thats worth it

man. thats about the best thing you could do. if it were me, shed already be gone though. no woman in my experience can stay true to a man for that distance. and even if she does, youll never be sure. shes poisoned the relationship and what you need is a clean break. shes part of your past. focus on number one, improve yourself.

most women arent worth the effort, but if you give it, i hope to god that shes one of the few that are.

well, the break has been made. It was fairly clean, although she admitted this might be the biggest mistake of her life. Tonight I could tell she really does care for me, but she just doesn't know what to do and she thinks going away for a while will help it. Either way, i had a long talk with my roommate today beforehand and he helped me put it into perspective. I am completely fine with the way things have turned out cause that is her choice.

So... PJ... :twisted: :pimp: :love: :wave:

If you need something done in Columbus, PM and I'll take care of it ;)

Well if she's leaving with no feelings for you, just go ahead and take your annoyances out and tell her those. It'll feel so good, like a good bowel movement

Geoff.... I know what you're going through.... been there/done that....still dealing with it... not that it helps you feel any better, but it happens to both men and women... someday you'll find that "right" one... but I think we have to go through the crappy relationships in order to become the people we need to be, and to truly know when the right one comes along... it's a sucky learning process.

You are a smart guy for breaking cleanly and avoiding the melodrama and heartache from a prolonged breakup. Wish I could offer better words then that, but it is what it is.

Sorry to hear that man. I have a few for you and for Erics95se. How's a 6er for each of y'all?

You guys hiring co-op for Mechanicals? I start in January :naughty: :lol:

I'm goonna go with interesting for $300 ;)

haha, no way I'm playing rebound. :P

/\ hahah! Saw that one coming

have i gotten that predictable? :oops: :roll:

He didn't say rebound...he was probably just talking quick fling

I dont know about that PJ ....but it does get the Venom Chuckle Award of the day. Run Geoff....

Seriously, I am no expert on lasting relationships. but people who choose running when confronted with facing problems have a trait that stays with them their whole life. It is not a one time deal. Move on .... Lifes to short. You seem a well grounded young man and life goes quicker than you can see yet. In the first 20 years so much is learned you dont feel the time go by. But the second 20 burns up quick. And the third twenty.... wtf... I'm half threw it and just waking up to see it not the 70's anymore. Just remember You didnt bring this on, but Your going to make sure it doesnt happen again and again.

Geoff, like many others here I've had first hand experience with a traumatic breakup, in my case a marriage involving 3 kids. All I can say is it hurts for a while then as time heals your life will become blessed with someone again that will make the process and the wait all that more worthwhile. Think positive, keep yourself focused and busy, do the things you love to do, live life to it's fullest every day and oh ya, make sure you make it to all the national BC meets this summer!!!! ;)

Ok...here I am to my defense. Seeing our bussiness was posted on everyother site I figured it would be here too. Which IMO is completely uncalled for and not to be a bitch looks like a complete pity trip.

First off- Geoff I told you I couldnt promise anything to you me being in Ohio and you being here. Im going out there to concetrate on school and work. Geoff I LOVE you and always will there is nothing that is going to change that, we just have things we both need to work on and they werent working with us together. You and I are VERY different people and you know that as well as I do. No offense but Im not ready to be told what to do , and have to ask permission for everything- I've told you this a million time but you just don't understand. I wanted to be your friend and still do, hopefully a time will come when you are ready to do that. You are a GREAT person with good heart, and you deserve the most amazing girl, but Im just not that girl. I guess I'm just too random, and " I do what I want" for you., I dont think before I live, I just Live. ( yet i did think over the move to Ohio Xs 2342903840293840293849023) I need someone to live with me and living is something you only do once so Im going to do it to the fullest and I am sorry I had to hurt you in order to do it. I am always here for you.

Second- THankyou all for being there to support him.

Last- I dont like my bussiness being posted all over the internet but I found it nessascary to post this.

I'm gonna go ahead and retire this one...

Allison, just wanted to say breaking up is tough on both people.
I want to wish you luck in Ohio

Jim

Lastly

Geoff is allowed to share his feelings, as for broadcasting your business? Geoff has every right to this thread..personally you should have stayed out of it.

Your final statement undermines the purpose of this thread. Which was to allow him to vent and gain necessary emotional support.

Geoff, if you wish to have the last word, I will unlock. Until then, I agree with DJ, no need to continue.

First off, thank you BC for supporting me through this ordeal. You have always been there and you are my second family. i appretiate everyone's comments. As for what allison posted, i would like to make some remarks about her comments.

I would like to say that I support allison in her move. It is a big step, and not an easy one. She doesn't know what she wants out of life at the moment, and doesn't want to miss a single chance. She says she is moving for financial reasons and school, which I support fully and hope she succeeds in. She has a lot of potential, just doesn't have the direction yet to focus that potential.

She is moving out there also for anothe guy, which does hurt. A lot. But I have come to realize that at this point in her life, he might be able to offer her what she is looking for. I am at the point in my life where I am looking for a place to call home first before I begin to extend myself too far, and also I need to start working on paying off the debt that I incurred while at school. I do not support her possible relationship with him, due in part because of the situation surrounding it, and in part because I would have liked to see her separate the two reasons to see if she actually liked it there and was happy, before entering into a relationship.

As for the controlling part she references, we butted heads a lot over issues with this. I am the type of person who thinks things through, and plays devil's advocate for my friends to help make sure they understand some of the ramifications. This was taken as telling her what to do. While I did not always agree with the things she did, I would get used to them and warm up to them after a while. I also asked her if she could just tell me things in advance, rather than springing things on me right before, or right after it happened. In the relationship I did not feel that I was listened to at all, and that she did as she pleased and made her own plans.

I have not confirmed it, but I felt like she was building the downfall of the relationship from the moment she cheated on me (the feeling and the action were around the same time), and was in discussion with the other guy about moving well before she broke up with me. I had a feeling the last month or so in the relationship that she was not in it 100%. But even through all that, i don't think badly of her like would be thought. I have lost a lot of respect for her, and so has a lot of her friends, but considering the situation, she could have lost a lot more.

I myself and dealing with it alright, but i cannot bring myself to see or talk to her. It is just too painful. I don't know when I'll be able to either, if I will at all. She knows that is the situation, and she knows that was her choice. I was told and warned about her being this way from the beginning of the relationship, but I don't judge people based on what other say, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt on all accounts. Do I regret it? No, but i think next time I will heed warnings more than I did this time. And would I take her back? Yes, but there would have to be a good case made as to why I should, and she would also have to show me she is willing to work towards a relationship, rather than do what she pleases.

Some people said once a cheater, always a cheater. While this is true a lot of the time, i still believe people can change. The people who don't are the people who can't look past their own desires and wants and consider things in terms of the relationship. They are people who still have an "I" complex and need things to be their way. I think once a person is able to look past their own desires, have the will power and show maturity and take others into consideration, then that is when people will change. i think allison is still too young to see this, and hasn't made the choice to get over the "I" complex. I think mine and her relationship was probably too soon, and that we would have worked well if she was a little older, a little more mature, and a little more compromising. That day may still come, but I am not holding my breath. I gave a lot for that girl, and would have given everything if she had let me.

The last thing that bothers me is that she still says she loves me and that I will always have her heart. This is not true. None of her actions have shown it, and she has told more than one person she is following her heart to Ohio. Loving a person requires the showing of feelings, compassion, and respect. Even while discussing the breakup, she still took phone calls and made plans for after during. This is not showing caring. This is showing that the social life is more important than the situation at hand. This came up in the relationship, and was dealt with a couple times, but it always bothered me.

I can honestly say that I still love the girl, and she'll be a hard one to get over, even with all things considered. I hope that everytime she sees a Bonneville she thinks about how much I love her, and everytime she sees a White SSEi, she things of my heart and how she broke it. Just another victim of the White Curse.

And lastly, allison, if you read this, this is my family. I shared more with them than I did anyone else. I never posted our business on other forums, that was everyone else who did. And this forum is not open to the public, just members. You know i love you, and when you are ready to say it back and mean it, i will listen to you say it. Until then, enjoy yourself in Ohio and Good Luck. Just don't think I'll be here waiting for you when you come back.

If anyone wants to make comments to me about this, PM or email me.