How to get out of a traffic ticket
08-15-2005, 02:19 AM
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How to get out of a traffic ticket
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver'* license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner'* card for this vehicle?
Driver: It'* not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That'* right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner'* card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There'* a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That'* where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There'* a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who'* car is this?
Driver: It'* mine, officer. Here'* the owner'* card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there'* a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there'* no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there'* a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying *.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
Officer: May I see your driver'* license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner'* card for this vehicle?
Driver: It'* not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That'* right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner'* card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There'* a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That'* where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There'* a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who'* car is this?
Driver: It'* mine, officer. Here'* the owner'* card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there'* a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there'* no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there'* a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying *.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
08-15-2005, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by auroradude
im gonna try it when i get my 1st ticket someday, inevitably
LOL, funny joke although in practice, not such a good idea.
08-15-2005, 08:57 AM
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Don't know if I ever posted this, but....
A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to
remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
The drunk replies; "Boobies."
A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to
remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
The drunk replies; "Boobies."
08-15-2005, 10:12 AM
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Originally Posted by MOS95B
Don't know if I ever posted this, but....
A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to
remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
The drunk replies; "Boobies."
A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to
remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
The drunk replies; "Boobies."
