One day a CHP officer from our office arrives on scene of a non-injury collision, with the local P.D. standing by for us. The coppers are all laughing and snickering as our guy approaches. The CHP is trying to get the info from the coppers about whut happened, but all they can do is point, and tell him to talk to the driver. Now one of the drivers is a very agitated visitor, Asian, who is ranting and raving about suing Ford Motor Co. Our officer attempts to calm him down, trying to find out what happened..well...as it turns out..the visitor was driving the van on one of our freeways when he decides he'* pretty thirsty..sooooo he puts on the "cruise control" which he believes to be someting akin to "auto pilot," as he then gets up out of the driver'* seat and goes to the back of the van to get a drink. In short order the van goes out of the lane, striking another car. Ruh roh.. Well at last sighting, the tourist still was yelling "Ford no good, Ford no good.." and our guy still had tears running down his face hahhah .....D.L. Grady, California Highway Patrol

----------------- Time-Saving Drunk Driving ----------------

GREEN BAY, Wisc. - In an effort to save police time, a drunk
driver drove directly to jail. The 22-year-old man led police
on a chase that dropped down to speeds of 20 mph and ended in
the Brown County Jail'* parking lot. Knowing he was busted,
the man parked his car, lit a cigarette, got out of the truck
and lay face-down on the ground to be arrested. He told police
he knew he was drunk and was going to be sent to jail, so he
just drove there. He was also arrested for cocaine possession
and an outstanding warrant for a hit-and-run accident. After
going directly to jail, he did not pass GO and did not collect
$200.

--------- Party-Poopers Protest Parachuting Pooch ----------

VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE, California - One little hot dog in
California is stirring up a lot of controversy among the animal
rights community. Brutus the Skydiving Dog is a parachuting
Dachshund who performs at air and space shows. A previous mis-
conception was that the dog jumped solo, however, the pooch
is actually tucked into a special pouch affixed to his partner
and owner, Ron Sirull during his plummet to the earth. While
activist Shirley Cram feels it "is cruelty to animals", the
dog'* veterinarian and the Arizona Humane Society have signed
off the activity as being safe for the pup. Brutus has logged
100 jumps so far in his career. That'* equivalent to 700 in
dog jumps.