Groucho Marx once said "Outside of a dog, a book is a man'* best friend. Inside of a dog, it'* too dark to read."

Oscar Wilde once noted that "Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known."

Those are widely known quotes. Throughout history the authors of various compendiums of quotes have left out quite a few lesser known quotes.

everything that follows is complete BS.

"Butter face? I don't get it."
- Abraham Lincoln - February 1863

"I think I'll go ahead and get the breast reduction. It couldn't possibly harm my career."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt - 2002

"**** me! It'* witch-tit cold out here!"
- George Washington (whilst crossing the Delaware) - December 1776

"Does anyone have some Frank'* Red Hot? This stuff is pretty bland."
- Unknown member of the Donner Party - April 1847

"Jesus Christ! Is that a zombie?"
- Stuart Petermore (upon seeing Joan Rivers in person) - March 2003

"Gay? Why in the world would you think I was gay? I'm all about the goon. What? Poon? Not goon? Yeah...I knew that. 'Cause I'm all about it."
- Liberace - June 1964

"3 million? That'* some wimpy Hitler *stuff*. I've killed way more than that. Hell, I've done more in an afternoon!"
- Joseph Stalin - April 1952

"Check it. I'm gonna make a regular dude...but, like, really tiny."
- God (spoken to Michael) upon the creation of the midget

"What more does that bitch want me to cut off?"
- Vincent Van Gogh - December 1888

"Map? Screw that. I can do this."
- Amelia Earhart - July 1937

"Dammit! Stop grinning like a moron! I'm trying to paint you looking all serious."
- Leonardo Da Vinci - November 1503

"I know what we can do this afternoon...let'* make a movie. I've got about seven bucks, some twine, and a hubcap. That ought to be enough for props. Let me get my skirt and we'll start."
- Ed Wood - July 1956

"But I have a coupon! Seriously, you do not want to make me angry. Just give me the damn discount."
- Bruce Banner (at Wal-Mart) - August 2004

"This looks like a shortcut."
- George Donner - July 1846

"Cherry? I was hoping for grape."
- Jim Jones - November 1978

"Johnny and Jodie sitting in a tree...."
- John Hinkley, Jr. - March 1981

"You didn't climax? Well, sucks to be you. I'm going to sleep."
- John Wayne Bobbit (spoken to his wife) - June 1993

"They want more milk, do they? I'll give them something..."
- Mrs. O'Leary'* Cow - October 1871

"I freed who? Dammit...I've really gotta stop drinking."
- Abraham Lincoln - January 1863

"**** it. We're on a roll. Let'* take Russia, too."
- Napolean Bonaparte - June 1812

"You like pizza, too? Damn. We have a lot in common. We should hang out."
- Nathan Leopold, Jr. (spoken to Richard Loeb) - May 1924

"Seriously. The mother ship is hiding in the tail of the Hale-Boppe comet. Like I would make this up?"
- Marshall Applewhite - March 1997

"I'm tired of rockin' hard. Let'* just do power ballads from now on."
- Steven Tyler (spoken to the other members of Aerosmith) - 1993

"Damn. You are really good at beer-pong. OK. I lose. So...what now? I gotta be in that arm wrestling movie of yours?"
- Sylvester Stallone - 1987

"Look. Just put some tape on the door latch. Nobody is gonna notice. We'll be in and out in no time."
- James W. McCord, Jr. - June 1972

"Well...I could use the money. Screw it. Nobody is gonna see this movie anyway. I'll do it."
- Linda Lovelace - 1972

"We've got boatload of fireworks and a fair amount of time on our hands. There is no way this could possibly go horribly awry."
- About 90% of the guys I grew up with