"old" jokes
#1
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"old" jokes
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that
you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 93 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple'* house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
>The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that'* red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that'* the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what'* the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it'* Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let'* go get a beer."
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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it'* state of the art. It'* perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
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you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 93 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple'* house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
>The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that'* red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that'* the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what'* the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it'* Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let'* go get a beer."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it'* state of the art. It'* perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
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#4
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
Expert Gearhead
I see what you mean John
Jim and John were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Jim, I'm 93 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Jim says to John, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
Jim and John were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Jim, I'm 93 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Jim says to John, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
#8
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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple'* house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
>The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that'* red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that'* the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what'* the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
>The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that'* red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that'* the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what'* the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
#10
PopaDopaDo
True Car Nut
This one got me laughing! LOL
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it'* Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let'* go get a beer."
Third one says, "So am I. Let'* go get a beer."