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An Irish Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And, who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her
reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."

"Was it Kathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona Conner, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend
church mass for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads"