how to buy gas, my little foul mouthed rant...
 

ok, i'm a supply-side plumber by trade. i specialise in finding and repairing slab leaks. the nature of there area i live in right now means, there is no work. i work at a gas station. sucks. but it pays the bills.

i've noticed that people don't know how to pump gas. so i'm going to go ahead and just let everyone know.

here's some useful tips.

1) pay for your damn gas. most places are pre pay. if you stand in the parking lot with the nozzel in your car. i'm gonna let you stand there. if you wave at me i'm going to wave back. but you'll still have to pay first.

2) leave the damn nozzel on the pump until you've finished paying or completed your pay-at-the pump transaction. if you screw something up, the pump it going to lock itself down. i can't reset it until you hang the damn nozzel up. so don't pick it up at all.

3) follow instructions. every single gas pump in the country will tell you how to use it. if it tells you to do something, do it. if it asks for a pin number, or a zip code, or a urine sample, give it to it.

4) don't leave your car unattended while pumping. your pumping gallons of highly flammible liquids into a complecated peice of machinery you've spent thousands of dollars on. thats something i'd want to keep an eye on.

4.5) most gas stations have removed the handle locks from all fuel nozzles, except deisel. do not jam your gas cap in there to keep it flowing. if i catch you doing this i will stop your pump, remove the gas cap and jam it into your ass.

5) don't let go of the handle until you've finished pumping. most gas station fires are caused by static discharges when the person grabs the hadle after getting in their cars.

6) the second most common is filling fuel containers in the bed of a truck. set them on the ground people.

7) when buying Beer or smokes have your id ready no matter how old you are. is the friggin law. and if you haven't done this, don't bitch about it, the guy behind the counter doesn't give a crap. he's not going to jail so you can smoke.

8) remember folks. inside my little store. i am god. i reserve the right to refuse service to anybody, for any reason, at any time. piss me off and you're gone.

9) go ahead and rob me. i don't carry a gun but i keep a can of oven cleaner next to my register. after a faceful of that you'll wish i shot you.

10) for stores that do not require you to pre-pay, close your friggin door. if i see a guy parked in such a way that i can't see his plate, trying to pump gas with his door open, i am not going to turn that pump on. it's like the guy's getting ready to run.

11) don't bitch about gas prices to me. A: i don't care, B: i can't do anything about it C: i pay the same price you do, and i have to listen to you bitch and D: i didn't tell you to buy the biggest fucking SUV you could find. :x

i've gotta stop now...

feel free to bitch about your gas pumping experiences or your menial jobs...

Whew, none of those apply to me. Yay!! I always pay at the pump and keep my hand firmly on the nozzle until it is finished. ;)

i got to say, amen. i agree with every one of them, even the ones i break.

i must confess, i start pumping, then sit back down in my car. upon getting out of my car, im always sure to touch the roof of my car (metal) before i get anywhere near the pump. never had it be an issue.

Re: how to buy guys, my little foul mouthed rant...
 

and for CRAP sake DON'T SMOKE, I WILL bitch slap the PIG SHIT out of you :twisted:

ken

hate to have three deaths in a freak gasoline fight accident.

1) pay for your damn gas. most places are pre pay. if you stand in the parking lot with the nozzel in your car. i'm gonna let you stand there. if you wave at me i'm going to wave back. but you'll still have to pay first.



:wave:

I laughed when I read that one. They are all true. I use to work at a station when I was 17 and it would amaze me at the stupidity of some people.

did you mean
how to buy GAS?

your awesome man. if you refused me service and said something like that to me, id buy gas from that station for the entire time you worked there. same goes for any other service area. if you tell me how you really feel, i wont be upset. ill become your most faithful shopper. unless youre insulting. then ill be mad.

Oh yeah, I meant to comment on that. I was trying to figure out why he would be wanting to buy a guy. LOL