Parents still worry kids don't get enough TV


LINWOOD BARCLAY

I'm sure you're as concerned as I am that children are not getting enough time to watch television. Oh sure, there'* before and after school, and after dinner, and evenings, and all weekend, but is that enough? What if your child needs more TV than that? What can you, as a parent, do to meet your child'* insatiable demand for television?

Well, if you're a caring parent, you're probably thinking about getting a DVD player in your vehicle, if you haven't done so already. Many minivan manufacturers now offer DVD players that swing down from the ceiling just aft of the front seats (best not to distract the driver) so kids in the back can take in a show while they're on the way to the video rental store.

The good thing about DVD players in vehicles is they keep kids from looking out the windows and discovering the world around them. There'* nothing more annoying than a youngster exposed to the outside world. If kids are not being entertained by 101 Dalmatians or The Lion King, they start pointing outside and asking questions, things like: "What'* that?"

And then you know what you have to do? You have to tell them what "that" is. You'd think answering their question would keep them quiet for a while, but you know what they do then? They see something else, and ask "What'* that?" again. And again. The younger the child, the more "What'* thats" there are out there, so the sooner you can get a DVD player installed, the better off you're going to be.

Here'* the thing that'* easy to forget. Children can never get back the hours they don't spend watching DVDs. They're gone forever. And we can never know what movies they might have had a chance to see, perhaps for the 243rd time.

It'* not just kids who need some sort of video entertainment all the time. It'* grownups, too, although they're less likely to be found travelling in the back of vans watching Disney movies. Often, it'* ****.

Sergeant Canning Taylor, of the Florida Highway Patrol, explained in a recent interview that police are having to pull over and have a chat with some folks who may not fully appreciate that what they're watching is also being watched by those in the cars around them. Maybe even by small children, who have managed to pry their eyes away from their own DVD screens long enough to point and ask, "What'* that?"

Evidently, just as there'* a general concern that some children are going several hours without actually watching a video, there'* a worry that adults don't have enough opportunities to see people getting naked. Sure, there'* cable, there'* the Internet, and you've got your old standby, magazines. But what about when you're getting from A to B? Shouldn't you have the right to see **** then, too? Wasn't Bush proposing some sort of constitutional amendment about this?

You know, it'* one thing to be driving a minivan with kids in the back laughing along with Finding Nemo, but what'* it like for the driver when the folks in the second and third rows are watching ****? Let'* say you learned to drive by the Smith System, and are accustomed to glancing in the rear-view mirror every few seconds. What if you're afraid to glance up there for fear of what you might see? Chances are, you're not going to see tailgaters, and if there'* one thing you're going to have when you've got **** playing in the backseat, it'* tailgaters.

When I was a kid and we went on driving trips, I had a colouring book. Sometimes, when it was hot and the crayons melted into the upholstery, that was entertaining.


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Linwood Barclay'* column appears Monday, Friday and Saturday. E-mail him at lbarclay@thestar.ca.

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