First of all... a big hello to all my friends on BC. I've been away for a while and I've really missed connecting with you guys.

I had a really surreal experience today and I'd like to get your advice on how I should best handle this situation. OK here goes the story...

My family and I (wife and four gorgeous kids) attend a local church every Sunday for worship and we are friendly with lots of families there. We are really good friends with the "Smith'*" - we've been to their home with their six kids - they have been to our home for meals. I'm really good friends with "Joe" the dad of the Smith family. I've helped him out with his computer problems and he'* helped me with stuff too. Bottom line, my family and the "Smith'*" are very good friends.

This morning after the church service my kids are talking and playing with all of the Smith children, and my son Matthew was even giving Mr. Smith a hug... (my kids love the Smith'*)... well, my little guy Matthew was being silly and he stomped on Mr. Smith'* foot. Boys will be boys... Matthew should never have done that but Matthew is only a 5 year old little boy who weighs 50 lbs. Well, Mr Smith flipped out. He grabbed Matthew and layed him on the church pew and pressed his knee into Matthew'* pelvis and pushed hard. At first I'm thinking Joe'* my buddy he'* not gunna hurt Matthew... I wasn't sure if he was going to tickle him or what. Well, tickling was not what Joe did. He continued to push his knee into Matthew'* pelvis as Matthew started to cry. All this time Joe is quietly screaming at him. He even said "if you want to take me on kid, let'* go!" (You know that whisper with your teeth locked and your angry eyes?) At this point I don't know what the heck to do. I'm stunned. Matthew stands up and apologizes through his crying and tears and Joe grabs his arm and twists it. I call Matthew to come over to me (I was watching all this happen from two pews away). I sat with Matthew and explained to him that he can't just stomp people'* feet even if he meant to be silly. By the time I finished talking to Matthew, Mr Smith left the church. Matthew was doubled over in pain and cryed the whole way home.

For the rest fo the morning I'm re-running the scene in my head... what the #$%& happened. My wife and I are just stunned that this trusted friend would attack my son. I don't care if Matthew walked up to him an punched him square in the family jewels there is no reason for an adult would react that way to a child.

Well, I take a drive over to Joe'* house just to see what the happened. Well, that conversation didn't last very long. Here is our verbatim conversation
Tim - "Hey Joe, I'd like to talk to you about what happened in church this morning. First of all I'm really sorry for what Matthew did. His behavior was inappropriate and I apologize, but I also have to say I was surprised by the way you reacted."
Joe - "I knew you'd come. You have no right to come here unless you know what really happened. You come down here with your bad attitude..."
Tim - "Joe, all I said was that I was surprised"
At this point there is screaming and yelling, and then I asked him if this is where he wants the friendship to end... and he said well, that'* my decision. I realized that my conversation with him was not going to yield any fruit so I just left honestly because I thought he was going to fight me right there on his lawn. The last thing my family needs is to have daddy in trouble with the law.

This situation has made me and my wife sick today. These were our close friends and we feel a huge sense of betrayal and sadness that this is what our friendship has come to.

What should I do? Should I try to approach him again? Should I call the cops and press charges against him for assaulting my son? Should I just leave it as is and never talk to him again? What do you guys think?

You have shown GREAT restraint. I would have reacted a tad bit differently, but now that you know that your so called friend did what you saw him do, I would go to the police and press assault charges against him. If he wants to be a dick like that and attack your son in the way that he did, he deserves to get into trouble for it.

I cant believe that this friend of yours reacted the way he did and couldnt talk to you calmly about it.

I say file a report. I hope your son is feeling better!!

I would have jumped over the pews and punched him for touching any one of my kids!

It was so surreal... as its happening I'm thinking, he'* my pal. He'* not gunna hurt him... this is a guy I trusted with my kids many times before.

The really tragic part of this that I have to explain to Matthew that Mr. Smith is a nutcase and that we aren't friends with them anymore because he'* psycho - and this make'* Matt very sad cuz he really loved all the "Smith'*". A five year old kid shouldn't have to deal with this.

JR'* right... I'd hate to see what goes on in his home behind closed doors. In a way I am thankful that I learned this guy is nuts without any permanent damage.

I would call the local Law and have him charged.. And talk to the pastor about the incident, there might be something happening at home that his wife is afraid to tell about, and god forbid something happens to there children or the wife.

Lucky for him I wasn't there and Matthew wasn't my son Because he wouldn't have left the church Surreal or not.

But I respect that you kept your cool for your children'* sake, Talk to the police and press charges.

Almost want to get in the car right now and head over there and Introduce Mr. Smith to my HD riding boots.

Press charges now. PERIOD.

I've been wondering how you were doing.
Sorry to see this is how we hear form you.
Like others have said, I am very proud of the restraint that you showed. You kept your cool for the benefit of your family, and I totally respect that.
Now, I have to agree with the others, go to the Pastor and to the Police.
This is probably not the firs time this guy has acted this way.
The man needs help, and I guarantee his wife and kids do to.

I don't what I would have done, but I'm sure I might be in jail by now if that happened to me. I'm glad you showed restraint.

I'd call him tomorrow, and see if his attitude changed. If you go back over, I think that might just cause a fight.

This might sound stupid, but he doesn't have any leg/foot problems? I know that'* probably not something you'd sit around and talk about, but my Dad has Diabetes and is VERY protective of his feet. Just a thought... I know my Dad wouldn't do anything like this, but some people are wired weird.

If he'* still a raging ******* tomorrow, and won't give a valid explanation, I agree that calling the cops would be a good idea. At least get a report filed.