Sigh. Alot of things that are on my mind right now so I have to talk.

As some of u know my Grandma passed away from Lung cancer back on Friday. Very sad day for all family but we all know shes in a better place now. What angers me is what caused her cancer in the first place. Smoking. Smokinf f***ing kills millions of people every f***ing year and the companies get away with putting all this **** in them. But the FDA might be gaining control of tobacco soon so hopefully cigs are less harmful. But why don't we outlaw it in the first place is that makes me mad. Cigarettes killed my grandma no doubt. 2 pack a day'er for over 30 years but quit about 10 years ago.

Which brings me to my mother. She smokes 2 packs a day on average for as long as I can remember. Now I'm REALLY worried about her ending up like grandma in the future. I want her to stop but she just won't listen. I can understand she will get stressed ALOT and I do mean ALOT! But shes killing herself every puff she takes and I don't want her to go so soon because of it.

Which brings us to the house. Machesney park, Illinois was what grandma called home for over 50 years. But because of refinacing and other stuff we might have to sell it now and move up to the trailer house up here in South Beloit permanently. I mean would u be broke and have a house or have a smaller house and able to pay all the bills and save for your future and when sh*t happens? I really don't want the house sold, but it would be better financally for us. We can take the money from the sale and put it in stuff and grow the money and live comfortably for our lives and if the house if up for sale in the future we could buy it back, but thats just an idea.

Which brings me back to my mother. She needed some time away from everything so she loaded up my oldest sister, her boyfriend, and her kids into the POS lincoln and went to Florida on Tues. and will be back Sun./Mon. She has gone through alot with stress and grandmas passing so I hope she relaxes down in Pensacola Beach. She will take me and my younger sis in October.

Which takes me to... me now. Right now I have a steady McJob at 7.75 an hour and since school started plus the fact I'm schooled means I get alot of hours. I've even got in a couple hours of overtime. Which lets me get some long overdue needed stuff and pay the bills. But I turn 18 soon. I will be looking for GED courses soon and pray to the heavens above I'll get my GED around the time I turn 18. What worries me is. What now? I don't have a clue on what to do as a decent job after all that goes down. I mean I could stay at McD and be a swing but its TOO STRESSFUL for me and I'm not doing it. I have 2 co-workers that we're crew but are swings now and HATE it. Theres the Chrysler plant in Belvidere that is maybe an our away that makes the Dodge Caliber, Jeep Patriot, and the god awful Compass. That would seem to be alright... Just will it be there and hiring when that time comes?

Ok now where to... Oh yeah. Me and my mother took a ride up to middle WI to visit my grandfathers gravesite which I haven't been to now. Heres a pic..
DIGI0057.jpg

DIGI0058.jpg

Very emotional trip. Finally got to say goodbye cause I didn't when I had the chance back in 2000 :( As for the trip part the Bonne held up for the 320 mile 1 day'er very well.

Now for later on. Next weekend we will be burying our grandma where she grew up. In Arkansas. That will be a very emotional trip as well and we can say our final goodbyes to her. Add that I've never been down there before and I can see where she grew up.

As for my car. Shes still holding up very well with the abuse I'm giving her. Since for some godforsaken reason the hood won't open AT ALL and for all I know she might need some coolant (shes never used oil) It frustrates me. Hopefully I can get that all fixed at the Meet thanks to the helping hands of fellow bonne-lovers/know inside and outters I can't let her let me down now. Least I need now is her breaking down.

My Job. Crew trainer at McD'*. I do like working there alot. Like 99% of my friends are co-workers are there. But its the Retarded and rude/asinine customers that give me a hard time when they don't get their iced coffee in 30 seconds during the lunch rush hour. Very freaking busy.


So its a bit of a rough patch now. All the stuff thats going on right now and all the stuff I'll be doing soon. Its an almost scary thing wondering how good I'll be doing 6-9 months from now.

O.K. Venting gone. Time to sleep

Americans are allowed to make their own choice; smoking is one of them.

I hope that your family'* trip to FL is the break that everyone needs, and it'* good for youto have some time to yourself. Let'* hope the Lincoln get them there and back safe and sound.

Sell the house and move. Having the house will only be a reminder of your grandmother. Time will go by, and probably faster than you want it to

It sounds like you have a good thing gonig at McD'*. I used to work at one when I was in high school. It'* a great stepping-stone, but nothing to view as permanent. Why are you getting a GED, not a diploma? Or did I miss something? What are your plans for college?

You talkin' about the September 28-30th meet in IL? I hope to make it, too.

I totally get where you are coming from with the smoking thing, but like Cheetah said it is a choice U.*. citizens have the right to make. I smoked for years but once my youngest was born I knew it was time to quit. That was easier said then done though, but it did happen.

Sure seems like you are going through a lot of stress for only being 17. It will get better, but then again , it will probably happen again in your life too. That'* just how life is.

I totally understand the McJob thing, too. Between there and Management at Taco Hell, I have about 4 years in fast food. Have yo considered management? Yeah, it IS stressful,, but the pay can be decent and there can be good promotion opportunities. Even if you have to go to a different store/chain. Since you haven't stated school yet, there is always hotel/restaurant management. People will always need to eat so there is a future in it.

Certainly seems like a good financial move to sell the house, although emotionally you may not want to. No sense being stressed about money all of the time in a house you can't afford. If it is sold, like you said, you may be able to get it back in the future. A lot of people now only live in a house for a few years, then sell it to move to a bigger one, newer one, etc.
Who knows, maybe you can raise your own family there some day?


Hang in there for now, things will get better, and we'll always be here to vent to.

Sounds fairly familiar. Instead of attending my Senior Prom..I was burying my grandmother. Eight years later my mother followed and yes..both smoked. Two years after that my step father followed suit.

Smoking is an addiction that some can toss to the side and others can't. Be supportive where you can and maybe you can help your mother when she decides to quit.

Sadly i am a smoker myself...have quit numerous times also. mind you i am only 18.

It took me years to quit.
Cut down slowly over time.
Started only smoking at work/school. So only 3 or 4 per day, on breaks and lunch.Then I stopped buying them, so I only smoked when I could bum one.
Once I got down to one a day, I just quit. Went about 6 months, tried one and threw it about before I got about half way through, and haven't touched one in about a year and a half.
No matter how it'* done, I think the main key is that the smoker has to be ready to quit, 100%

Why are you content to stay working at McDonalds and making barely enough to survive? Get your *** in college! Sure $7.75 is fine for when you'reliving at home but you won't be there forever. If schools not for you conside trade schools and apprenerships (welding, plumbing, bricklaying, steamfitting). These are good jobs once you make it in and have decent pay.

See this car here, its one of several fine European cars he has:
100_2235.jpg
This guy is.... A PAINTER.... Thats it! All he does is paint rooms (walls ceilings...)... but he makes a really good buck being in some painters union and working for the county.

Don't settle, you have a future to plan for.

i agree, some type of trade could certainly be the way to go.
Plus, you won't have ridiculous loans to pay back for th rest of your life.

Listen, if AT ALL possible, stay in school and get the diploma. I have major regrets about not sticking around for mine. For one, the GED just doesn't look as good on apps and resumes. Even if your GPA is crap, a diploma is way better. For another, if you ever DO decide to get a college education, the GED is gonna be a major barrier...

Going to college would be a great idea. It'* unfortunate that the job market puts so much emphasis on going to college, but it does (I can think of maybe 2 or 3 college courses that are relevant to the work I am doing now).

Trade school wouldn't be bad too. Personally I would rather sit at a desk.

I'm four years out of college and my loans are paid off. It can be done...

What types of things are you interested in? What do you like to do?