1990 cadillac seville, can anyone tell me where exactly is the starter relay located?

I think it is above the steering column behind the the IP. Are you getting power at the park-neutral safety switch on the transmission?

what is the ip? i've looked all around the steering column and can't spot it. my seville starts right up when it has sat for awhile, however after i drive it for awhile, half hour forty five minutes or so it won't start there is nothing all power comes on however starter won't crank at all, then if i let if sit about an hour it starts right up.

The IP is short for instrument panel.
Sounds to me like the starter solenoid is having issue. Have you been able to check for power at the purple wire on the starter when this occurs?

after i had my coffee i figured out ip=instrument panel, no i have not checked out the solenoid, didn't think it would only do it when hot, thanks for the tip

If it only happens when the engine is warm I suspect the starter solenoid because it'* attached to the hot engine. It is easiest to start at the starter and work your way back when you have electrical no start issues.