I failed emissions, but not for the reasons I'd think (the new cam). Apparently the testing station couldn't get any voltage at the OBD port.

I knew my scanner worked earlier in the week, so I had the local AutoZone test it. Their Actron scanner, as I expected, worked. So I went back for a retest and td the shop the fuses were good and a handheld scanner worked. Same result.

I went to the shop that the lady at AutoZone recommended. The guy there was nice enough to quickly explore. He told me that handheld scanners run off their battery, while the state's equipment runs off of the car's power. He was able to get a solid 12-volt reading from the OBD plug, but no ground. (He also aborted the test so I wouldn't be out another $20.)

If the wires under the OBD plug and the ground busses look good, I guess I'm looking at a new set of (real GM) battery cables. Anything else to check?

The problem should lay between the OBD2 plug and the ground point. Either the ground point is corroded, clean it. The wire is broke, replace it, or the terminal in the OBD2 plug is loose, remove it and crimp it.

Now that I've had a chance to sit down and Google it, some guy on a Ford forum who had the same problem had his cigarette lighter fuse blown. I know my lighter fuse is not plugged in until I get around to fixing the shorting lighter.

I'm going to start digging into things tomorrow night. Can anyone with a FSM check the OBD schematic versus the cigarette lighter schematic? (My Haynes manual is less than helpful.)

Replace the fuse, get it scanned again. Just don't place the lighter back into the socket. I had the same issue with my 2000 Blazer.

Dan...next time he wants to replace the battery cables, please don't talk him out of it. Even if it's not the issue. His cables.. Great..I just puked in my mouth again.

What was that all about Bill?

Apparently someone has nasty cables.

My positive cable could be GM Forum's Halloween banner. I've got some money coming in and battery cables are on the list (after tires and emissions testing).

Not that I won't give my 100%-GM negative cable one last good scrubbing during all this.

Lemme put it this way guys. Justin and I refused to touch it. A couple of us have redone it in the past out of necessity and said "Colin this needs to be swapped asap". He nods like he's going to do it and each time you see his car you kinda wonder how it keeps starting.

Ohhh! I see now.

(Meant to post this Tuesday, but I hit Preview and fell asleep. So here you go.)

Before I started anything, I took my multimeter and checked for the missing ground between pins 5 and 16. Should have gotten zero, instead got 11.4 volts. Did I check the right ground pin? :nm

Appeased my sanity and cleaned the (mostly shiny) cables on the top side of the engine. Multimeter shows zero resistance between any two ends. (The starter terminals, the engine block ground, and the ground under the ICM will wait for when I'm not working 13 hour days.)

However, on the drive home, I decided to turn on all the accessories while idling at a red light; I watched my volt gauge slowly slide down toward the red zone. Those random puzzle pieces of my radio sometimes forgetting the presets and the occasional hard start now seem to fit somewhere. Voltage across the terminals is 12.6 when off, around 13.5 at warm idle. Time to claim the battery's warranty?

I'm back!

Last couple of weeks: Tried to clean the ground busses, but they were spotless. Pulled out the OBD-II plug and checked the pins, and they're shiny and not damaged. Finally got around to rebuilding my cigarette lighters (after two years!) and reinstalled the fuse. Cleaned the battery cables, though there was nothing to clean off.

Had my charging system tested at Sears (who sold me the battery), and they said "all is well, give us $15." An oil change place (yes, I had a rare bout of laziness) said the battery is at 39% life and should be replaced soon. As the battery is only eight months old, either it's a lemon or my alternator is getting old.

Diagnostic port: Voltmeter reads 11.8 volts between pin 16 and the grounds. No pins are loose or damaged. Pulled the MAF sensor to set the MIL, then cleared it with my car-powered code reader. So, there's definitely power, ground, and communication.

Took it in for the free re-test, and…*it failed again! Assuming their testing equipment is working, what could be the issue? Battery cables are next in line to be replaced.

Are you able to get it tested somewhere else before dropping more money?

I could have done that from day one. But, a free re-test is only valid at the original test center. Now that I've used my re-test, I won't be back.

The shop owner says he's seen this issue before, but could never figure out why it happens.