BIZARRE starting problem 95 SSEi
 

This morning I tried starting my car, and when I turn the ignition, various dash lights start flashing, and relays are clicking repeatedly, at a rate of 2 or 3 per second. While this is happening, the starter won't even turn, but it sounds like the fuel pump is running. As soon as I let go of the ignition key, some relays click off, and the fuel pump stops. The car won't start at all. I noticed that with the headlights and radio and fan on, it appears that the battery is strong, and when I turn the key, the lights don't dim significantly.

About the last month before this, I noticed my electronic compass stopped working and always says calibrating. I'm wondering if maybe the computer is going bad, or maybe there's a bad connection to it.

Any ideas? I searched the archives, and couldn't find anything like this listed.

Start off by cleaning both ends of the battery cables.

I agree. That's each end of EACH cable.

The compass isn't controlled by the computer, nor is it auto calibrating, it just needs calibrated.

O.K. I'll try cleaning the battery cables tonight when i get home, but still, why would the lights be flashing on and off, and the headlights are bright, if this was the problem? What I mean by flashing is, while I hold the key steady in the starting position, the various trouble lights flash on and off, like a relay is opening and closing by itself, like the computer is pulsing them.

For the compass, how do I calibrate it? I know you can select the region or code for your location in the country, in my case it is 04. I already tried reseting it, and it didn't clear up the problem.

It should be outlined in the owner's manual. It involves holding the button and turning a few circles, IIRC.

GreenMachine, very odd things happen when the battery cable ends get corroded. It has no ryhme or reason. It's a good first troubleshooting step, and tends to solve most of the problems we see like this.

Compass calibration is in Techinfo. Link at the top of the page. Make sure you don't keep large metal objects or Subwoofers in the trunk. If you do, you may need to relocate your compass module.

Thanks for everyone's help. I did clean the cable ends (there was no visible corrosion), and still had the problem. I was able to start it with a jump, so it looks like a weak battery. I ran it for about 10 minutes, and then shut it off, and tried to start again, and it started on it's own, but the next morning, I had the same problem, so it looks like the battery. When it was running, I measured 14.6V with the volmeter, so it looks like the alternator is charging. This battery has lasted about 5 years, so I guess it was due. ;)

Change it very soon. A bad battery can over-stress an alternator, and a bad alternator can kill a battery.

Yes, I'm searching for one now. The car won't start without a jump anyway, so I can't drive it until I get a new battery. According to autobatteries.com most major brands are all manufactured by johnson control, so I'm looking for the nearest one at the best price. Looks like autozone has one for $75. I'm driving my wife's car for now, so no problem.