Sounds like a ground problem. I can't remember but I think there's a ground connection on the back of the block. When that acts up it can cause odd problems with sensors.

I went through the entire car and cleaned every connection I could find. These are my current symptoms...

Starts up and runs just fine. Driving down the road, all of the gauges suddenly go haywire. They jerk around, the car loses power(but doesn't die) and the check engine, voltage, traction control and ABS lights come on. If I let it sit for a couple minutes, it will recover, but if I turn it off the battery is dead and I have to jumpstart it.

Went to Autozone and had them check with a scan tool and it kept saying connection error. They also tested the battery and alternator. They said battery needs replaced, but I had same issues with my friend's battery in my car. They also said my alternator was a little weak, but still working.

I am at my wit's end. I appreciate all the assistance and patience. Thank you.

Have you looked in the testing area for the test charging system? Give that a shot.

Did that. Everything seemed within range on my test. Autozone's battery test put the battery under load from their machine, instead of my car, and he said the voltage dropped to 5v under load. It's possible I need a new battery, but I can't see a bad battery causing all my problems.

5 volts? I condemn every battery I test that goes under 9.6 volts under 15 sec load.

Thats with a Snap On AVR.

Problem solved. After all of that, it was the alternator. Apparently the voltage regulator was causing all the problems. Replaced it and went issue free even after a 30 mile test drive.