Figured it out. It was the shift cable being loose. Didn't look at it before because it wasn't my car (girlfriend'* roommate) and he wanted to try getting a dealer key for it. Well, the Police showed up last night and said it had to be moved right then or it'd be towed (due to snow removal)
I told him to let me try a couple things and sure enough, popped the center console cover off, pushed on the cable then turned the car over. I did lose the cup holder though, but we were able to move the car.
Thanks for those who mentioned it.
2007 Saturn Aura XR | 1970 Chevy Blazer 4x4 | 1970 GMC 3/4 Suburban 4x4