and i just found this, sounds very fitting. go to "construction of ladder" for more detail.
All a man can do is "go for it" and make a move on a girl; ask her out, try to kiss her, write her a love note or whatever. If he'* on the good ladder fine. If he is on the friends ladder this is a case of ladder jumping. The man is trying to jump the gap from the friends ladder to the real ladder. The girl has two choices at this point: she can let him on the ladder and all is well, or, more likely, she can kick him in the head, and off the ladder. If you look you'll see that below the ladder is the Abyss(what was it Nietzsche said about a man being on a rope stretched over an Abyss?....well it'* worse than he thought; there is no rope.) So the man falls into the Abyss. The Abyss isn't really as bad as it sounds. Mostly it'* a period of self-loathing, embarrassment, and of course utter awkwardness with the girl in question if they are talking at all.