Understanding Engineers
#1
Understanding Engineers
Oldies but Goodies....
Understanding engineers
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take One
>
> Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said,"Where did
> you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
> walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
> rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
> her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
> approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What'* with
> these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
> chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The
> pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let'* have a word
> with him." "Hi George! Say, what'* with that group ahead of us?
> They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh,
> yes, that'* a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight
> saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play
> for free anytime."
> The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That'* so sad. I
> think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said,
> Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see
> if there'* anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't
> these guys play at night?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil!
Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
> graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
> graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
> graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
> possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
> engineer." Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
> electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
> electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil
> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
> recreational area?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, ! don't fix it."
> Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
> features yet"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said
> he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
> enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his
> mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer
> said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah.
> If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
> spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
> some work done."
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
> bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
> up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
> princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the
> frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
> princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
> engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
> pocket.Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm
> a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that'* cool."
Understanding engineers
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take One
>
> Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said,"Where did
> you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
> walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
> rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
> her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
> approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What'* with
> these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
> chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The
> pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let'* have a word
> with him." "Hi George! Say, what'* with that group ahead of us?
> They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh,
> yes, that'* a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight
> saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play
> for free anytime."
> The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That'* so sad. I
> think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said,
> Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see
> if there'* anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't
> these guys play at night?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil!
Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
> graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
> graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
> graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
> possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
> engineer." Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
> electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
> electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil
> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
> recreational area?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, ! don't fix it."
> Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
> features yet"
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said
> he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
> enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his
> mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer
> said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah.
> If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
> spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
> some work done."
>
>
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
> bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
> up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
> princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the
> frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
> princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
> engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
> pocket.Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm
> a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that'* cool."
#2
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Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
#3
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Originally Posted by LakevilleSSEi
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
All of those were great. I'm saving this.
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> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, ! don't fix it."
> Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
> features yet"
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, ! don't fix it."
> Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
> features yet"
definately...
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Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
#8
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Originally Posted by 2000SilverBullet
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil! Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Good stuff!!
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