Two Irish men in a pub (maybe PG-13?)
Joe O'brien was sitting at the bar of his favorite pub when a man walks into the pub walks up to him and says, "Your Mum'* the best **** around." Joe just sits there while the man walks over and to the other end of the bar and orders a pint.
A couple minutes later the man comes back over to Joe and says "Your Mum says I gave her the best ******** she'* ever had." Now everyone in the pub is expecting a brawl but Joe just sips his pint while the man goes back to his stool, downs his pint and orders another.
A half hour and a couple pints later the man comes over to Joe again, puts his hand on Joe'* shoulder and slurs "I'm going to give your Mum a ******** she won't forget"
This time Joe stood up, grabbed the man by the arm and pointed him twoard the door and said "Go home Dad, yer drunk"