A week before her wedding a young lady is getting advice from her grandmother. Grandma, now into her late sixties, is still considered quite attractive.
"Tell me, Grandma, how do you get your skin so soft?", the girl asked.
"It'* simple, my dear. Every week since my sixteenth birthday I've taken a milk bath." she replied.
The bride to be, ever wanting to impress her future husband decides to give this a try. She informs the farmer at her local dairy (don't you have a local dairy?) that she needs enough milk so she can take a bath in it.
"No problem", he replies, "do you need it pasteurized?"
"Nah", she answers, "Just up to my **** should be good."