Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it'* really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it'* still on my desk... sorry....

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..


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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What'* on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it'* plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there'* another one here. Ah...that one does work...


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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.


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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That'* not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


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tech support
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let'* press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

wow those were great!

this one really happened....

Customer: Whats a MAC Address

Tech: We do not keep that information on file, you will need to contact apple for that information.



Yes I LISTENED to that call. someone got yelled at

those are hilarious

Sounds like it might be a member here with a Mountain Dew Addiction

You're right it DOES sound like a member here

Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie: Welcome to the Internet Helpdesk

PG-13

Scarey part is, this is pretty much what I do for a living....

I had a customer say he had a problem with his scanner. He had an optical mouse and was waiving it over some bar codes.

ROFL!!! i love that! awe. poor people....so many of them are having a tough time catching up with technology. imagine being in your 70'*...and all of the sudden, you have to start learning to use a computer...those were great though...