A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back of the herd that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole herd is maintained or even improved by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass.

Recent emiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of spirits helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job-related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of completing university studies and then getting married and settling down, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years.

So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. But get back into the bars and pubs and quaff that pint! Your company and your country needs you to be at your peak, and at your best, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career opportunities that you could achieve through excessive alcohol consumption. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be! And remember a good cold beer will kill those bad, useless brain cells that are slowing you down and it will make the necessary room needed to get the good brain cells up front and at the top ready to perform at their best. So bottoms up, down the hatch, look out brain it'* coming fast!

Bill, this is one area that you have remained a contender and have kept your vigilance. Keep up the good fight!

Fighting like HELL right now. I think I'm winning.

The problem, however, is that I am out of food. At least any that I'm willing to eat. So I must go OUT for munchies. Further problem is that I can't drive durnk.

Therefore, I believe I will have my ever-loyal companion katie drive me via scooter to Carl'* Jr. where I will purchase eats for the two of us to enjoy during any damn movie she choses to watch.

I have spoken.

if you say so

why take the scooter....let her take Zilla...your drunk, you never know where all that smoke and sqealing is coming form.

Dood. Katie is ELEVEN years old. And Kim ain't here tonight.

I think we'll stick with the scooter.

Don't eat- you will lose your buzz!!!! I don't think I could drive durnk either.

I tried to drive drunk once. The next morning, I couldn't remember which car I drove.


And they're so different. I SHOULD have known.

oh, i thought she was the one that could drive. nevermind lol. she aint legal to drive a scooter in Florida

It'* an electric scooter that maxes out at 20mph, so she'* legal in Orygun.

With me riding bitch, we should be limited to 18 mph.