Required things prior to washing a cat.
I have just learned tonight a list of items to do before and after washing one of my cats.
1. Drink 9-10 beers prior to start of washing cat.
2. Clear all loose items surrounding the sink. ie dish soap, sponges, nick nacks. dish rack.
3. Drink another beer.
4. Put on large bird handling gloves, body armor and helmet.
5. Proceed to locate cat which knows its time for a flea dip.
6. Reassemble curtains from which cat was stuck to, pick up lamp, and apply bandages to 5 year old kid that got scratched.
7. Drink another beer.
8. Finally get the cat in the sink using one of those things they use to handle snakes.
9 Quickly hose the cat, apply shampoo, rinse and let the cat go.
10. Drink another beer.
11. Proceed to remove pieces of claws from arms and fingers.
12. Take big swig of Jack Daniels, apply 91% rubbing alcohol to wounds, then bandage.
13. Attempt to locate wet cat to dry off.
13a. Unable to locate cat? Forget about it, go sit and drink some more beer.
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2002 Chevrolet *-10 LS Ext Cab 4X4 5.7 V8