the purina diet
Last Friday, I was buying a 80 lb. bag of Purina “low-cal” for Sheba our 120 lb. Labrador dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I had ended up in the hospital last time, but that Ihad lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV'* in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter'* *** and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
2003 silver sle
1975 trans am project
1970 black gto convertable
1983 gmc shortbed pick-up