More useless findings...
10-16-2002, 12:17 PM
#1
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
More useless findings...
http://askmen.com/jokes/2001_jun/jun18.jpg
http://askmen.com/jokes/2001_jan/jan25.jpg
Top 25 Bumper Stickers
25- Boldly going nowhere.
24- Heart Attacks... God'* revenge for eating his animal friends.
23- How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
22- CATS -- The other white meat.
21- Don't be sexist -- broads hate that.
20- I'm an imbecile and I vote.
19- Money Isn't Everything... But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
18- WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
17- You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me, not you!
16- Don't **** me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
15- Save Your Breath...you'll need it to blow up your date!
14- Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
13- Grow your own dope, plant a man.
12- All men are animals, some just make better pets.
11- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
10- BEER: It'* not just for breakfast anymore.
9- I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
8- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
7- All men are idiots... I married their King.
6- The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
5- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
4- Out of my mind... back in five minutes.
3- Where there'* a will... I want to be in it.
2- It'* lonely at the top, but you eat better.
1- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
If Men Ruled The World: Part II
1- Two words... "Ally McNaked".
2- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop : "Nice one, That'* $10.00 off".
3- People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
4- Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
5- Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
6- Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
7- The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
8- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
9- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".
10- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
11- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".
12- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
13- "Sorry I'm late, but I was wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
14- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.
15- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
http://askmen.com/jokes/2001_jan/jan25.jpg
Top 25 Bumper Stickers
25- Boldly going nowhere.
24- Heart Attacks... God'* revenge for eating his animal friends.
23- How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
22- CATS -- The other white meat.
21- Don't be sexist -- broads hate that.
20- I'm an imbecile and I vote.
19- Money Isn't Everything... But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
18- WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
17- You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me, not you!
16- Don't **** me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
15- Save Your Breath...you'll need it to blow up your date!
14- Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
13- Grow your own dope, plant a man.
12- All men are animals, some just make better pets.
11- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
10- BEER: It'* not just for breakfast anymore.
9- I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
8- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
7- All men are idiots... I married their King.
6- The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
5- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
4- Out of my mind... back in five minutes.
3- Where there'* a will... I want to be in it.
2- It'* lonely at the top, but you eat better.
1- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
If Men Ruled The World: Part II
1- Two words... "Ally McNaked".
2- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop : "Nice one, That'* $10.00 off".
3- People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
4- Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
5- Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
6- Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
7- The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
8- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
9- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".
10- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
11- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".
12- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
13- "Sorry I'm late, but I was wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
14- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.
15- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
10-16-2002, 01:03 PM
#3
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
Glad you liked it Amy.... all thanx to our great administrator for opening up a lounge for us... now I can show them the webcam feed from you guys.. ha ha ha... kiddin
10-16-2002, 01:57 PM
#5
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
ok... maybe we can get some sponsorship from Shiek, or some pantyhose company, or some thongs or skirt company.. ha ha ha...work them legs...
10-16-2002, 01:59 PM
#6
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Maybe we could get Nair involved...."Who wears short shorts?" ha ha....it would be easier to wear shorts than to have to hike up my skirt every time Will stops in. tee-hee 
10-16-2002, 02:08 PM
#8
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Every time he takes a cold shower he has to send me a pair of pants....so he better control himself. ha ha ha.....I actually sent him my address. But I know I will get no pants. *sigh* lol
10-16-2002, 02:13 PM
#9
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True Car Nut
Thread Starter
Don't be too sure if a package doesn't show up for Haloween or christmas..ha ha ha...Will is crazy with Alcohol injecting him thru I.V. 24/7.. and now he'* after my hippie pills...
At that rate... Will is going to be walking around with no pants... good thing he sits in his car most of the time...
At that rate... Will is going to be walking around with no pants... good thing he sits in his car most of the time...
10-16-2002, 02:16 PM
#10
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Hippie pills sound good right about now. You know, if he actually sent me his pants I would frame them and put them up on my living room wall. I have a twisted sense of humor sometimes. 
I think I'm going to get drunk later tonight and play around on here. tee hee It'* been awhile since I've had a drink. 
I think I'm going to get drunk later tonight and play around on here. tee hee It'* been awhile since I've had a drink.