not a problem - getting this off my chest.
so heres my problem. its not really a problem, but youll get the picture soon enough.
ive been with nancy [my fiance] for 3 years. in that time, ive grown to like her very much. in addition, i love her. note the distinction.
nancys not very affectionate though. this isnt new, its always been the case and i knew it to be the case before we got together. our relationship is a very loose one, there is a definite knowledge that each of us chooses every day to be with the other one of us, but theres also the comfort of knowing that isnt going to change.
that said, im attracted to one of my coworkers [recent development]. its not a good feeling. by the way, shes engaged too. shes getting married in a couple months, and i will be invited. i will also be tutoring both her and her beau this coming semester. if it wasnt enough that i have immense respect for her and for her relationship with her beau, i also will not ever cheat on nancy. my attraction to my coworker is not a threat to my relationship and will not become one. i just have to pay very close attention to how i react around her. i have to double-check all of my flirting and make sure it'* innocent in nature [seemed to me awhile ago that there was no such thing, but ive recently found out that the way i act around people is usually considered flirting]. she responds in kind.
but this being attracted to another girl . . . its not a good feeling. shes [my coworker] a very good person [there arent many of those], and very cute too. i cant help but think that if we were both single, there would be quite definitive sparks. i like her as a person and shes very sweet. i think if her beau hurts her i might hurt him.
i just needed to get that off my chest. im not going to cheat and neither is she, but it feels pretty crappy to be hiding this.
sidenote: she asked me to come to her birthday dinner and meet her parents. oh, and im her boss [with no influence at all on promotions or raises, just her immediate boss].