My plan for the day. (Or what I did instead of my job)
Stupid people, while entertaining at times, slow the progress of life, and make being in public frustrating as hell. I could go on for hours about it. Anyone could. The one thing that we can all agree on is that there are too many dumb people in the world today. Instead of just bitching about it, I have a solution. I have a noble idea for the idiots that make you scream in your car, and throw dishes and cutlery at your dog. No, my idea is not a psychotic, murderous solution, like Hitler or Darth Vader would come up with. It is just an option that would help improve the quality of life.
Dumb people should be tagged. Like the animals they match in intellect, they can be avoided and tracked.
You believe a psychic is real because she told you that your uncle said he loves and misses you from beyond the grave...
You applaud because a psychic told someone else that their uncle said he loved and missed them from beyond the grave...
You shoot your friend with a shotgun while hunting for quail…
While driving, you come to a complete stop before you make a right-hand turn…
You go to see Basic Instinct 2…
The minute someone illustrates stupidity this horrendously, they should be pointed out. We would have a warning when we were about to encounter a person with an I.Q. the equivalent of a urinal cake. The advantages would be astounding. Think of the morons you could avoid. Think of how much this feature could improve dating.
Guy 1: “She’* pretty hot. I’m gonna go get her number.”
Guy 2: “Dude, she’* wearing an ankle tag that warns that her I.Q. is that of a 12 year old… panda”
Guy 1: “I know. Awesome!”
Men would immediately start scoring at remarkable percentages. Frat-guy high-fives would grow exponentially. Another solid advantage of tagging stupid people would be their sudden elimination from the workplace. Employers would know if it was too much to ask of someone to say hamburger names into a microphone. Having a tag would surely increase the amount of times one would hear, “Sorry, tagger, you are not qualified.”
Employment problems would never threaten the country again. People who deserved jobs would actually get them. People who could do jobs would actually do them. We could dump all of the tagged people in the Great Plains somewhere. We could build a giant fence around them and blink flashlights and whistle to keep them entertained. We could even give them viewmasters to help pass the time. Stupid people love viewmasters. A gigantic amount of job opportunities would develop for simply securing the dumb people as they play with thier beloved viewmasters. We could even throw a couple of cameras in there and make reality shows about the Great Plains Stupid People. The great part of it is that most of our favorite reality stars would still be on the air.
Our world would run so much more smoothly. Things would get done more quickly and there would be greater time for vacation and travel. If you’re questioning this plan, you will get tagged.
There would have to be one small catch to this glorious plan. We would definitely have to keep a few of the dumb people around to do the jobs that the non-stupid people wouldn’t want. But once that was all figured out, it would be smooth sailing.
1998 SE Midnight Blue Pearl
Gutted airbox, FRAM AirHog, removed MAF Screen, eBay clear corners, extended brake lights
I'm so much cooler online